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Illustration Friday - Round

2011-12-01T11:44:00.003-06:00

Hand painted silk

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A Lovely Day

2011-08-03T16:51:00.003-06:00

I woke up this morning with this song is going round and round in my head. Back and forth up and down doing my local shopping on Caye Caulker, from Miss Julia's to Deals on Wheels to Chan's Supermarket to Chinatown, oh I just noticed a new chicken place next to the bakery. Screech-HALT! Delicate balance, I'm riding my pink beach cruiser in a wrap skirt. I'm not worried about flashing anyone, the skirt is definitely long enough, plus its a girl's bike so I don't have to fling my leg over the bar. I am more concerned at not getting it wrapped around the chain and me spilling onto the sandy street legs up, my groceries hanging in sacks off each handlebar. Kick stand down, bags balanced so the bike doesn't tip over, I get on and off, but sometimes just straddling the bike and shouting "You got avocados?" "You got cilantro today?" "How much bananas for dolla?" I pass the tortilla shop and turn the corner Slowly maneuvering around the giant muddy water holes left from last night's rain I pass Chan's hardware on my way to BTL to pay the phone bill and LOVE FM is playing Don't Worry, Be Happy. I couldn't have said it better myself, as I put the kickstand down, tromp in and say "MORNING!"
"Morning Miss Lee Ann, I haven't seen you in a while"

Bill Withers - Lovely Day Lyrics

When I wake up in the morning love
And the sun light hurts my eyes
And something without warning love
Bears heavy on my mind.
Then I look at you and the world's alright with me
Just one look at you and I know it's gonna be
A lovely day
When the day that lies ahead of me
Seems impossible to face
And someone else instead of me
Always seems to know the way
Then I look at you and the world's alright with me
Just one look at you and I know it's gonna be
A lovely day
-----------------------------------------------
My taste in music roams around and around but right now I'm loving Pitbull and all of his collaborations with other artists. So enjoy my picks!

Or you could head over to Oceanside and kick off your flip flops and whynd wind wynd, and shake the fringe on your skirt. Ladies, you know you want to.

Photo Friday - Seashore

2011-07-18T09:51:00.008-06:00

On Caye Caulker, kids are kids. You will see them playing marbles on the sandy streets, kicking balls, and if they don't have a ball, kicking a plastic bottle, riding bikes, playing like kids used to play before the internet and x-box.
To view more of my photos on Flickr click here.
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Sundown

2011-06-04T20:28:00.003-06:00

Sugar Kisses

2011-05-19T16:14:00.005-06:00

CLICK ON THE YOUTUBE VIDEO WHILE READING THIS POST to get the same feeling I had when writing it.

"No Sugga inna Caye Caulker bring fram de City" the text message read on Tuesday morning, from Shirlene.
"No sugar on the Caye, need to get some before you drop me at the water taxi." I tell my taximan
HE: Well gud luk wid dat, sugga scayce right now."
ME: For tru? Chiney shop noh hav?
HE: It all inaa de newspapa, dey carry too much da Guatemala, sell it on de block markit, get 6 times de amount we pay inna Belize. Greedy sukkaz.
ME: Me noh pay tenshun da newspaypa
So I dash into Sav-U-by-de-roundabout, to the sugar aisle and it was empty. EMPTY. EMPTY EMPTY. Almost in a panic (sweating and hyperventillating) I asked the young boy stocking the shelves, about sugar... "Yu hav, yu noh hav?"
"We hav" he say, slowly backing away, "Sugga scarce, yu cyan hev only 5 pownd." and went to the back room to get it.
"All de mi giv me is 5 pownd" I tell my taxi man, "Mek you ker sum fa me" I hand my taxi man a $5

Midmorning clandestine sugar purchases. My taximan comes out of the store walking nonchalant, like the sugar is for HIM, giving a little skip. A conspiratorial smile on his face. Hmmmph! Always a way to beat the system.

The crux of the problem is that there is no production problem in Belize, the sugar prodcers say they have been selling enough to the local distrubutors, but these same distributors have been illegally exporting sugar to Guatemala, shorting the local economy, because they can get up to 6x the amount than what we pay here with our government price controls on basic commodities.

So, with sugar so scarce, I have stopped vacuuming the ants out of it.

"What are these insects?" a tourist man said pointing to the sugar jar.
I pretend to peer at it, knowing full well what he's pointing at. "Oh, those are just sugar ants" not paying him any mind "Totally edible."
I see his stomach turn. I actually physically see it, and think "stop being such a cry baby man".
"Well if you don't like them, which by the way I do, extra protein and all, just wait till they float to the top of your coffee and then skim them off."
"Here, let me show you." and I drop a teaspoon of sugar into my coffee, the ant floats up, I skim him off in one swoop. "Because I am not freakin throwing this sugar away, sugar scarce you know."

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Photo Friday - My World

2011-05-13T11:01:00.003-06:00

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I made this at photofunface.com

Photo Friday - Manufactured

2011-05-07T09:15:00.003-06:00

Shot in Cozumel, Mexico.

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A Slight Case of Volcano Mouth

2011-05-05T16:19:00.003-06:00

Be careful, its contagious.

Now that Easter is finished, and nearly all the tourists have left. I find myself with... time on my hands, and frankly, I'm bored. Now LiLi or Liliana (my new name given to me by The Mexicans cuz they can't handle Lee Ann), you could use your time wisely, so you say. Wisely, like paint a silk scarf, or produce something interesting and beautiful? Oh, not me. I'm using my time to taunt the few young men left on the island. Why the young men you ask? BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS TAKE THE BAIT.

Two young (shirtless) guys sit down at the coffee bar and I serve them their steaming hot cups of java.
As I set them down on the counter top, I mumble "I hope you like strong coffee."
They look up at me surprised and one of them answers, "Yes Maam we do."
Oh, there's that word "Maam", again. In young boyspeak it means, o.k. you old windbag.
"You're not going to winp out on me are you?" I say
"Pardon me?" he replies
"You're not going to winp out on me and ask for hot water to add are you?" I say menacingly
"Oh no maam, I can handle it."
"You sure?" I just can't let it go.
"Yes maam."
"Ok then."
No more to tease about and I back away slowly, THEY HAVE SUCCOMBED TO MY DOMINATION.
---------------------------------------------------
Two older ladies come in and buy a brownie, and come back a few minutes later and buy another one. The younger of the two exclaims "I have never had a piece of chocolate in my mouth that tasted so good. What secret ingredient are you using?"
I ignore the obvious and tell her "Hashish."
"Really?" she exclaims
"JUST KIDDING, do you think you can buy a hash brownie for $2 U.S?" I answer, "Its the espresso and cinnamon."
"Because I ate a ganga brownie in Jamaica." she confides
Her friend quickly adds, "Well I didn't eat the brownie! I passed on that!"
"And I was stoned the next day." the younger of the older ladies adds
"Well this one will just give you a sugar high." I reply
"Jesus loves you and he's coming back to earth one day." she says while retreating out the door.
----------------
Today I was asked if the coffee ice cubes in the iced coffee were made from coffee, and I answered "No, its well water"
I will never tire of seeing open mouth dismay from my customers...
"JUST KIDDING" I say, "its coffee."
I should slap myself sometimes
------------------
A young man orders a ham & cheese omelet with bagel and fruit cup today and when serving him the plate, I had forgotten the fruit cup on the counter top. Remember, I should be wearing a T-Shirt with WWW on it (World's Worst Waitress) and to recover from my little error, I told the customer that we were out of fruit and asked him if it is o.k. if I give him this cup of napkins instead?
So polite, these young men are, he just said "errr..... I guess... that's o.k." polite and uncertain.
JUST KIDDING! And I limped back to the kitchen to get it for him, only I forgot which leg I was supposed to limp on, and after a few steps Shirlene comments from the kitchen, "Wrong leg Miss Lee, de adda wan."
What would I do without Shirlene?

Photo Friday - Primary Color - Blue

2011-05-01T10:40:00.009-06:00

Blue, Azul, Blauw, Turqoise, Bleu, Cyan, Sapphire, Lapis, the name changes, but the feeling is still the same.

Cool water, floating, sun hot pouring down, skin tight, relaxed, happiness, licking my salty lime lips, eating pulpo ceviche tipping the bowl up to drink the juice.

Micheladas con Sol, salsa music, Cuban singers, dreadlock trombone player, brown skinned buff bodies, shake shake shake.

Cougars Gone Wild, the over 50 edition.

Shot last weekend in Cozumel Mexico, this was the only day we went where Mexican tourists go, Playa Azul Beach Club. The rest of the trip was spent back-a-bush and back-a-town riding motorcycles and eating fish tacos.

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Photo Friday - Lines

2011-04-16T08:23:00.001-06:00

Super Sushi Saturday at Caribbean Colors

2011-03-25T18:45:00.002-06:00

Relationship Advice from my Mother

2011-03-23T09:19:00.004-06:00

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say it's not quite as good as his mother's

Then adopt a dog

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want ...

Then adopt a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies

..then adopt a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores

..then adopt a dog !

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to,

and loves you unconditionally, perpetually ..

..then adopt a dog.

BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call,

ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place,

walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep,

and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness ....

..then adopt a cat!

You thought I was gonna say... Marry a man, didn't you?

Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day. Send this to all the men just to annoy them!

You..

...have a GREAT Day!!!

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Photo Friday - Turbulance

2011-03-08T19:24:00.003-06:00

Is it a shark, or is it a manatee? Well almost. A curious snorkeler swims past the sunset shoot of Tina and Henry on their wedding day. All you can see is head and butt bobbing in the water. Click here for more Photo Friday submissions.

The Whys and the Wherefores

2011-02-12T19:36:00.003-06:00

Where is Bigness and why aren't we hearing about him? The emails kept coming as I slowly wrote him out of the story. The old Creole saying, "Slowly, slowly you take your hand out of the tiger's mouth." His attitude went from, DENY DENY DENY, until he could deny no more, to I love you, I'm sorry I HAVE A PROBLEM to SO WHAT. When it reached SO WHAT I knew the relationship couldn't be saved. The divorce has been final since August. It was embarrassing and I was in no mood to talk about it, even to my parents. I finally called my Dad and told him what had gone down, and he said what I needed to hear, "We would never expect you to stay in a situation like that." Bigness has moved on and on and on and 2011 IS THE YEAR I GOT MY LIFE BACK.

Sade can say it so much better than I can.

Lyrics to Sade's Every Word

I saw a picture
How could you be so careless
How could you have done that to us
And I write this letter
I send it all back to you
And every word you said

In there every word, oh oh oh oh
How could you have done that to us

You treated me like a stranger
And all the time I was loving you
All your slick moves
They were once innocent moves
I wanted to look up to you
I really trusted you
And every word you said

In there every word, oh oh oh oh
How could you have done that to us

(Love is what the word was)

I was loving you like a child
All the time you were smiling
The same smile
I was loving you like a child
I really trusted you

Every word you said
Every word you said
(Love is what the word was)

Every word you said
Every word you said
(Love is what the word was)
(Love is what the word was)

Every word you said
Every word you said

I was loving you like a child
All the time you were smiling
The same smile
I was loving you like a child
I really trusted you

Every word you said
Every word you said
(Love is what the word was)
I send it back to you, yeah
(Love is what the word was)

Every word you said
Every word you said
(Love is what the word was)
I send it all back to you, yeah
(Love is what the word was)

Cafe del Mar - Luminous feat Julie Harrington Let You In

2011-02-11T08:52:00.000-06:00

Photo Friday - Breathtaking

2011-02-11T08:49:00.004-06:00

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Photo Friday Self Portrait 2011 challenge

2011-02-05T18:50:00.006-06:00

So shocked I was when I took these photos off the camera. The lighting was perfect, the setting real and in paradise. I had put my makeup on with a paint roller and hadn't sweat it off yet, the breeze hadn't turned me into hurricane hair girl, and the results were surprising...
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Way too serious looking, but seriously... the former CEO in me, deep thought from still water, or maybe its because I just bumped my broken toe again, but SOMETHING is bothering me, maybe its the scorpion crawling up my leg.

Again with the goofy look

And now for the real me...

Eyes closed, mouth open
just expressing my opinion about the situation
just lettin you know for real what's goin on
FOR.REAL.
I'm working the sparkle eyeliner and rocking the plastic sequin earrings. Yeee Haaaa!

Always Expect the UNEXPECTED (and remember to scroll down)

2011-02-01T21:32:00.005-06:00

Photo Friday - Travels

2011-01-28T19:58:00.002-06:00

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Love in the Afternoon Plus a Little Input from the Tax Man

2011-01-23T17:12:00.006-06:00

The dress was bought, deposits paid, arrangements made, and then they ran Turbo Tax. Oops. It was better to get married in 2010 than to wait until 2011. In fact, it was so much better to get married in 2010, that the difference actually paid for their trip. So, Pam and John had a simple outdoor wedding with a few friends in the frozen landscape of Lake Taho, complete with fur hat and boots, before heading off to paradise for their destination wedding on Caye Caulker. With no family and no stress they enjoyed each moment of their day. And I enjoyed spending those 3 hours with them as I twisted and turned them this way and that like gumby. Actually, they were super easy to photograh, as HAPPINESS is the best makeup.

Photo Friday - Tranquil - Dec 10, 2010

2010-12-11T18:01:00.007-06:00

Tranquilo

Behind the Scenery
Just a Little to the Left
Randomness
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Sondra

2010-12-05T15:45:00.005-06:00

Sondra created quite the "scenery" as a little crowd drew on the street. She had arrived from Belize City on the Trickster barge, and was carried from the pier to the gallery on a trailer pulled by a golf cart. Important things were happening, such excitement. She was uncrated, de-doored and lifted up the stairs one grueling step at a time. 3 men including a tourist from Denmark, and an hour and a half later she was standing re-doored and all shiny. And I hugged her like she was a tree. I love you Sondra, I said to myself. Its o.k. to love an appliance.

I had remembered everything... that is, except to measure the width on the verandah door. Snap snap went the pinch bar and tap tap from a hammer popped off the moulding, and she slipped right thru. Lovely.

Shirlene poses next to Sondra. "She's pretty noh tru miss Lee, and so BIG."

Where is Old Delia? Old Delia has been relegated to a corner because of her bad ways. Old Delia doesn't like to work, is constantly hot, spoils things and has had many many many many repairmen inside of her. So, unplugged she stands in the corner waiting waiting waiting for the repairman to come to the caye. With Sondra so pretty and cold and big and new, things will never be the same for Old Delia.

Some Fun After a Very Serious Ceremony

2010-12-02T18:58:00.007-06:00

Just a Quick Hello from the Peanut Gallery

2010-11-28T21:55:00.001-06:00

Caribbean Colors reopens on Caye Caulker

2010-11-21T18:52:00.019-06:00

I was two years in Mexico. Two years, wow. Seems like yesterday I closed my store on Caye Caulker and was moving over the border from Belize into Chetumal during the rains of November 2008 which washed away the Northern Highway, like a refugee. Err... I mean, full time artist.

The first few months were exceptionally difficult, not speaking Spanish, and on my own most of the time. Then came the Spanish Teacher with his dry sense of humor chiding me "Miss Lee Ann you are scaring the people again." and "You have to deal with these people and their attitudes with your elbows out, Miss Lee Ann stick your elbows out and establish your space." and my favorite thing he ever said was "Mexicans (read: Catholics) love an apology, so start any sentence with an apology for your bad Spanish." The tutoring always started with a 1/2 hour psychiatric counseling session and ended 2 hours later with my promises to study. I am a terrible student.

Friends were few and far between. In Chetumal there really isn't an expat community, not one that I could find anyhow. Where were all the white people hiding? After two years my neighbors went from fear of the apocolypse to a grudging admiration for the white lady who could now speak her crap Spanish (after the apology) to buy a coke light at the corner store.

I would be exaggerating if I said I did not make ANY friends at all. I was accustomed to meeting new, interesting people every

day on Caye Caulker. After a couple of months I met a couple of cool Belizean ladies living in Chetumal, an American retired real estate agent (soon to move to Corozal) and an American lady living in Corozal who had loads of tips and tricks for traversing the border, essential info for me moving to and fro as I was. And that was it. Four ladies in two years. I found myself going to Chedraui and walking around with my shopping cart looking to bump into English speakers. That worked, but mostly I was beggining to be the weird American lady. As if...

And then came the dengue fever. 14 days sick with it, 10 days on my own, too sick to get out of bed, too sick to go to the doctor, high fever, rash, swelling, constant nose bleed. Trying to stay asleep as much as I could until it passed, IF it would pass. And then not feeling better after it passed, exhaustion, I found out that I had developed a heart problem, an arrhythmia, or irregular heartbeat. The depression that followed, made me realize that I NEVER wanted to be in that predicament again. I began to wonder if I needed to be on an antidepressant. But Ifelt like my depression was the situation, and I was the ony one that could change the situation. Alone in a foreign country, few friends, no one checking on me. Isolation. And while the isolation was good for me to be able to create new things, to have the mental space. I can't handle continual isolation. Who can? Ask someone coming out of solitary confinement.

So, I packed it in, and packed it up. Carload by carload and boatload I moved back to Caye Caulker, and still have some belongings in Mexico strewn across the city with friends. The last time I moved I said "I will never own this much junk again." and here I was, packing up boxes of all my "good stuff." I had decided to reopen my store in the Alamina Beach House apartment, which is located above the Sports Bar (next to the Police Station) It is the same property where my store was before, just in a different location in the building.

I got a lot of encouragement from my artist friends and other gallery owners in Belize to reopen. A good friend in San Pedro talked at length with me and told me some of her back story, which I didn't know. It was a story about having to pull herself up out of the toilet over and over, and reinvent herself, and to isolate the people that are making you crazy.

The biggest gift came early though. I am going to be 50 on November 25 (yes I am a turkey baby) and a friend here on Caye Caulker loaned me her handyman for 2-1/2 days as an early birthday present. So, Lenny painted and hammered and painted and hammered. Thank you Doris. This same friend also came over nearly every day to make sure that I had changed out of my PJs, taken a shower, combed my hair and made progress. She doesn't know that I know what she did, so don't tell her that I know she was checking up on me, but friends like that I am grateful for.

The first couple of weeks back on Caye Caulker, people who had heard of my demise, were surprised and pleased to see me. I simply told them "I am hard to kill." and wiggled my eyebrows, and then did the crazy eyes thing I am so good at.

Two years in Mexico made me realize that I need my people, even if the people on Caye Caulker are nosey and interfering. As I put on my old tear up clothes with 1/2 the fringe missing, nobody looked at me sideways.

So I got Shirlene to come back to work for me again. We are like Thelma & Louise, except we aren't going to commit suicide at the end of the movie.

I have very few regrets in life, and I don't regret closing the old store in 2008 and moving to Chetumal. It was an essential part of the journey.

But it appears that you CAN go home.

If you're confused about where I am, follow the pink.

What's in a Name?

2010-11-05T13:12:00.004-06:00

I recently referred to someone as a "douche bag." Not to their face of course, because then I couldn't have the satisfaction of having a passive aggressive rant behind their back. The name fits. This person is irresponsible, a jerk, selfish, and in general a jerk. Whopsydaisy, I used the word jerk twice. Now, I know what a douche bag is in real life. Its a very clever invention for cleaning your tarantula. But the use of it to describe a person and their behavior, where did that come from? Any of you experts on word or phrase origin, feel free to pipe up.
I found this interesting urban dictionary entry: meaning of douche bag

45 Lessons of Life

2010-10-08T22:09:00.003-06:00

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio. To celebrate growing older, she wrote the 45 lessons life 1.
Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

I'll add one more that is mine....
46. Always be prepared. Stop slobbing around in your nightgown. Get up, take your shower, brush your teeth, comb your hair, and put on clean clothes.

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Weather Report

2010-09-09T10:33:00.004-06:00

Not exactly the news I wanted to hear this morning...

Photo Friday - Warm

2010-08-29T22:56:00.005-06:00

I knew if I looked hard enough, I would catch someone being naughty. And I did. They were a huddle of little ole Muslem ladies over to the side passing a ciggy amongst them. It was WARM that day (more than 90) and the poor ole gals had to stay covered up in their hajib, head covering and long polyester long sleeved gowns. I personally was sweating like a pig in my tank top, cargo shorts and flip flops at the Arab festival in Dearborn. An interesting event to people watch. Every type, shape, size, and ethnicity from men and women in traditional garb, to more modern interpretations of the Koran to out and out carival ho's. (Ya know every carnival hasta have its ho's).

Is it is safe to say that "Only in America" can you see an old Muslem women smoking a ciggy in public?

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Crackberry Jam for Missionary Cougars

2010-06-14T13:31:00.006-06:00

I made all my connections like clockwork, which is a rare event. Leaving the house in Chetumal, Mexico at 10:30 p.m. headed for the bus station, I caught a cab right away. Arriving at the terminal not even 15 minutes later, I bought a ticket for the executive class, midnight bus to Cancun. No stops in between, it was a straight shot up the highway to Cancun and I arrived at the downtown bus terminal at 5:20 a.m., just in time to get the 5:30 shuttle to the airport, a 45 minute ride.

So I am at the airport in Cancun, too early to check into my Spirit Airlines cheapo flight to Detroit. I am prepared though with my book and turkey bagel sandwich brought from home and Starbucks is right there beconing me. I have my laptop case and a regular size suitcase, and the place is deserted except for me and the Starbucks lady. I wheel my suitcase over to a nearby table and go to the counter to order a coffee to sip while I eat my bagel brought from home. I don't pay airport prices if I can help it. I would rather bring a sandwich from home than order some expensive piece of nothing.

As I turn and walk back to my table, I see her coming towards me totally dolled up at 6:15 a.m. We are the only two in sight. I don't believe in dolling things up just to get on an airplane with people I will never see again. I am not here to impress anyone, I am just getting from Point A to Point B. I am wearing my Mexican Frida dress and just want to be cool and comfortable in the 103 degree heat. Miss Purple Glitter Eyeshadow with her bling bling shirt and high heels and her enormous suitcase wheel up to the Starbucks counter and order a fancy expensive coffee drink. I am not really paying attention because it is all about the turkey bagel sandwich with dijon mustard now and the John Grisham novel for the next hour. But I do turn my head as she bulldozes her way through the tables and chairs to get to the couches with her coffee and enormous suitcase talking on her blackberry. I watch her as she plops down and starts screaming into the blackberry "WHAT THE FOK! SO YOU ARE FOKING NOT GOING TO FOKING PICK ME UP FROM THE FOKING AIRPORT??!!!! WELL FOK YOU! and then she whips her blackberry, which then becomes a crackberry, across the room and it lands at my feet. What am I supposed to do now, kick it back at her and yell "YOU'RE IT!" I should have just minded my own business because while I was enjoying the SCENERY, the tomato from my turkey bagel sandwich was slowly sliding out the bottom and rolling down the front of my white Frida Dress.

I am trying to clean up the buffet I have created down the front of me and the crackberry phone is still on. I can hear him, the nameless faceless man "Babe... babe... babey... you know I love you... babe... babe... answer me."

The phone went quiet for a few moments and I thought he had hung up and I hear again "Baaaaabbbbbeeeeeeyyyyyy!" loud and clear like its coming from the airport announcement speakers.

Eventually she retreived her phone, not one glance in my direction, nonplussed. I buried myself in my book and didn't even glance up when the newly arrived athlete decided to do olympic stretches at the table next to me. By that time I had pushed my Permanent Ignore button.

Most of the trip was uneventful. I had my aswers practiced and ready in my head
when going thru immigration on entering the U.S. at Detroit Metro. The waitress, oops I mean stewardess passing out the immigration forms made it very clear that if you made a mistake on your form you were NOT going to get a new one. The mistake I made was in the writing of my residence. I do not live in the U.S., and realized this slip up before landing. I physically live in Mexico more than in Belize right now, so I put a slash mark after U.S.A. and wrote Mexico, then realized that I don't have residency in Mexico, I am on a 6 month multiple entry visa, which I had to turn in at the airport since it was going to expire while I was gone. My real residency is Belize, so I put a slash mark after Mexico and wrote Belize.

Trouble brewing, and I felt it. No time to make up a story. The immigration lady officer wasn't too interested, glancing up and down at the salad bar buffet imprinted on my Frida dress. However, the customs agent was absurdely curious. A young guy, tall and probably in his late 20s or early 30s commented on the USA/Mexico/Belize residency and asked me the trick questions.
Customs Officer: "How long have you been out of the country?"
Me: long pause.."Its been 10 months since I left"
Customs Officer: "What were you doing while you were out of the country?"
Me: long pause... "Well, I'm a painter and a photographer."
Customs Officer: "So, what were you doing while you were out of the country?"
Me: "Painting pictures and taking photographs."
Customs Officer: "So did you just go down there and hook up with someone?"
(I am thinking... what does this have to do with smuggling flora and fauna?)
Me: "Well, my husband is Belizean, we have been married for 4 years, so I guess the answer is yes."
Customs Officer: (with a funny look on his face) You can pass...
Me: "Huh?" I am mentally preparing for the "Search"
Customs Officer: Its o.k. you can go
As I am walking away... I start to wonder... was he flirting with me? And I sigh, well that is just magical thinking. I decide that next time I am just going to tell them I am a missionary.

I wheel into the arrivals area and Supergirl is waiting for me with the big ole Lincoln at the curb, and the first words out of her mouth aren't "Hi Mom, nice to see you, been a long time, what presents did you bring for me?" But rather.....
Supergirl: That outfit is screaming "STRIPSEARCH" (as she looks up and down the salad buffet Frida dress)
Me: Must be the crotchless panties.
Supergirl: Gross
Me: You started it...

Photo Friday - The Coast

2010-05-10T13:39:00.004-06:00

Two Mayan women walk down the beach at the coastal town and port of Progresso, Mexico on Easter weekend.

Check out more Photo Friday submissions.

Photo Friday - Children

2010-03-21T08:13:00.005-06:00

Boys and Birds on the Beach, Caye Caulker, Belize

I don't actively shoot. I don't walk around with my camera looking for things to photograph. Most of my shots happen when I am supposed to be doing something else, like looking at the bride and groom riding their bikes down the beach, jumping off a pier or walking towards me.
For me, my pictures just happen, they aren't planned or sought after.

To view more Photo Friday submissions, click HERE.

Annie On Her Wedding Day

2010-03-20T11:48:00.002-06:00

"My fiance doesn't like his picture taken, so we don't want too many posed photos." Annie told me in the email just prior to arriving for their wedding.

"Not too surprising, most men don't like have their pictures taken." I thought to myself.

We met the night before the ceremony and I could see how shy he was and how outgoing she was.
"No problem." I told them, "I hardly ever even look at the groom, it's all about the bride."
And it IS all about the bride.

The day of the ceremony, we met at 3 p.m., the ceremony was to be at 5 p.m., a bit late for Caye Caulker.

"Want a beer?" the groom asked me as I arrived to start the beach portraits.
His nervousness made me nervous so I accepted.
Annie was doing her hair and putting on her makeup, I got busy photographing the dress. Setting up that shot takes time and is harder than it looks, being an interior shot with low light and I hate to use a flash, so I just shoot and shoot and shoot and sooner or later something is bound to turn out right.

I tried to not use runon sentences, I didn't want to spook the groom, so Annie and I just went about our business of the taking-of-the-photos for Mom and Grandma and Auntie and Friends.

She and I went out to the beach to give him space to get ready and relax and calm himself. I don't believe he was nervous about getting married, no not at all. He was nervous about me. I assured him I only take thinner, younger pictures and we headed down the beach to my favorite coconut trees and Tia Ilna's rickity bench. I consciously have to slow myself down, it helps in the end result. I have to remind myself it is not a race. More is not better, it is just more, as I mentally worked through my shot list.

After an hour we swang back by the hotel and picked up the groom and slowly made our way down the beach. Before leaving the pool area, several onlookers offered shote of tequilla, and being the very observant photographer that I am, I was able to photograph what I call "Tequilla Face," the UGH!

"Plenty of time, plenty of time, no rush, go slow." I kept telling myself as I suggested that we stop at Popeyes on the beach for another beer. A couple of Cuban guys have taken over the bar and restaurant, and were excited when Mr. Ku, the minister also stopped in to chat with us and drink a juice. The Cuban guys mistakenly thought that we were going to have the ceremony there.

"Sorry, sorry, next time, next time" I said as we ambled down.
"We cook a pig for you next time and make big party."
"O.K., no problem" I said over my shoulder as we continued ambling down the beach.

I hadn'tnoticed it until then.... the groom had relaxed into the momenet.

The ceremony was at the end of Tropical Paradise's dock. I have timed the wonderful Mr. Ku, our marriage minister for Caye Caulker. It is typically a 6 minute ceremony, but 30 minutes later, we were still listening. The wedding party was the bride, groom, minister, photographer, and Sally the Wedding Planner and Scott, her boyfriend as wittnesses.

The bride and groom had a lot to say to each other. They told what they liked and loved about each other. They had a lot of promises to each other. But they were good promises about how they were going to treat each other and what they expected from the realtionship. I learned a lot about them and their relationship during the ceremony.

In this job you meet people and spend a couple of hours with them and it is all surface stuff, and make nicey nicey. But this shy man revealed whole other levels, and I was honored to have been a wittness to it.

Photo Friday - Nightlife

2010-03-14T21:45:00.010-06:00

Let's Dance!
A late night rainy night wedding reception at Habaneros on Caye Caulker. The guests made an impromptu dance floor from one side of the verandah. Life is an experiment, and this was shot in night portrait mode, (whatever that means) on my new Canon 40D. Fortunately, I did not catch anyone's panties (in case you are wondering) as I stood outside the verandah rail and shot from the floor up.

Click here to view more Photo Friday submissions.

"Let's Dance" by David Bowie
Let's dance put on your red shoes and dance the blues
Let's dance to the song
they're playin' on the radio
Let's sway
while color lights up your face
Let's sway
sway through the crowd to an empty space
If you say run, I'll run with you
If you say hide, we'll hide
Because my love for you
Would break my heart in two
If you should fall
Into my arms
And tremble like a flower
Let's dance for fear
your grace should fall
Let's dance for fear tonight is all
Let's sway you could look into my eyes
Let's sway under the moonlight,
this serious moonlight
If you say run, I'll run with you
If you say hide, we'll hide
Because my love for you
Would break my heart in two
If you should fall
Into my arms
And tremble like a flower
Let's dance put on your red shoes
and dance the blues
Let's dance to the song
they're playin' on the radio
Let's sway you could look into my eyes
Let's sway under the moonlight,
this serious moonlight

On Being Schooled

2010-03-06T16:17:00.003-06:00

I was asked to participate by a board member, at the 11th hour at an exhibition of women artists in Belize. I found out about it less than a week before the opening, and rushed to create a lovely piece titled: Three Women, Inspiration, The Idea, Creative. I wish I could say that the exhibition at the Bliss Institute went well, but after driving 3 hours with my very irritable husband, and then listening to speeches from women about how we shouldnt apologize for who we are, and how women in general are under represented and especially in Belize it is a mans society running the art world, I found that my painting, which I had painted specially for this exhibition and sent 2 days before the show opened, had not been displayed, but had been thrown into a storage closet. I hadnt even received a courtesy email telling me, and there was no excuse, since it was easy to find in the packet of information I sent along with the painting. I was told this by a very smug Bill Skinner. There was plenty of floor space, and they couldn't drag out an easel?????

So I sent my very irritable husband to the storage room with the very smug Bill Skinner to get the painting and I got back into the car and drove 3 hours in the night back home. Not exactly a good day. ´

So, I was schooled:I thought things would change with the new administration. With the last government, the art scene was run by men, and it showed. I had hope for this new administration, but now I am as confused as with them as I am by Obama's rhetoric. You can give speeches on women's rights and how we are underrepresented, but if those same people are disrespecting you and schooling you, teaching you a lesson, they are no better than the last.
They schooled me and taught me that:
YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT
YOUR WORK MEANS NOTHING
YOU ARE NOT A PART OF OUR SCENE

So, Dear ones, I don't need anyone to school me, I already feel shitty enough about myself as it is, you don't need to add to the anger and hurt. I lost a day that could have been spent creating beautiful things in my studio. I lost money on gas and expenses to attend, freight charges to send the painting via airplane. But you schooled me, and that is the important thing. THANK YOU.

Photo was added on March 12, 2010. Thank you Natalie for sending it.

Sometimes a Banana is Just a Banana, Anna

2010-02-16T18:01:00.003-06:00

I came across a website that I hadnt looked at in years. I used to go to this site every day to see how I felt. It was a little bit of an obsession. And even though it wasnt 100% correct I found the advice always nurturing and uplifting.

So today, I was reminded of it and I went to look up the free card of the day, and it was a telling one...

The Dream

This has been said again and again, down through the ages. All the religious people have been saying this: "We come alone into this world, we go alone." All togetherness is illusory. The very idea of togetherness arises because we are alone, and the aloneness hurts. We want to drown our aloneness in relationship.... That's why we become so much involved in love. Try to see the point. Ordinarily you think you have fallen in love with a woman or with a man because she is beautiful, he is beautiful. That is not the truth. The truth is just the opposite: you have fallen in love because you cannot be alone. You were going to fall. You were going to avoid yourself somehow or other. And there are people who don't fall in love with women or men--then they fall in love with money. They start moving into money or into a power trip, they become politicians. That too is avoiding your aloneness. If you watch man, if you watch yourself deeply, you will be surprised--all your activities can be reduced to one single source. The source is that you are afraid of your aloneness. Everything else is just an excuse. The real cause is that you find yourself very alone.
Osho Take it Easy, Volume 2 Chapter 1

Commentary:
Some enchanted evening you're going to meet your soulmate, the perfect person who will meet all your needs and fulfill all your dreams. Right? Wrong! This fantasy that songwriters and poets are so fond of perpetuating has its roots in memories of the womb, where we were so secure and "at one" with our mothers; it's no wonder we have hankered to return to that place all our lives. But, to put it quite brutally, it is a childish dream. And it's amazing we hang on to it so stubbornly in the face of reality. Nobody, whether it's your current mate or some dreamed-of partner in the future, has any obligation to deliver your happiness on a platter--nor could they even if they wanted to. Real love comes not from trying to solve our neediness by depending on another, but by developing our own inner richness and maturity. Then we have so much love to give that we naturally draw lovers towards us.

Osho Zen Site

Osho Zen Tarot Page, Try a Card of the Day
Copyright © 2010 Osho International Foundation

In the past 2 years, sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and think, where am I and what am I doing here? But now I am o.k. with being alone, it has taken me time to get to this place, but now that I realize I am here, it is fine.

Beware of the Crying Muchacha

2010-01-27T09:17:00.002-06:00

I have passed a milestone. This morning I successfully talked and cried my way out of a Mexican traffic ticket. Going the wrong direction on a one way street. I said these magic words -Lo siento, mea culpa, mea culpa. (I am sorry, my fault, my fault) accompanied by a bucket of tears and the bewildered Mexican police officer let me go with a warning.
Hmm... I will have to remember that, say you are sorry and cry...

A Trip to the Mexican Dentist

2010-01-22T10:48:00.004-06:00

I was desperate. That is what it usually takes for me to submit myself to helplessness and drilling into my skull.

I found them on the internet and since my phone spanish isnt as good as my in person spanish, (because you cant see my hand gestures over the phone) I grabbed a cab and tried for a walk in. The receptionist put me out of my language misery when I said in Espanole, --Soy tengo dolor aqui - me have pain here - (pointing to my mouth), and answered me in English telling me that the dentist can see me in a few minutes.

She took me into a thoroughly modern and hygenic office with a TV mounted on the wall and the Dentist, speaking perfect English (although the word for ouch is the same in almost every language) took an X-ray and gave me an estimate and set up an appointment for the next day. I And (drumroll please) the cost of a root canal on a bicuspid, a stainless steel post driven into my skull to hold it in place, and a porcelain crown was 4,000 pesos, and at an exchange rate of 12.5 to the dollar it was $320 U.S. I have the temporary on right now and the permanent will be installed next week. The temporary looks so good that I am half tempted to not come back, but since I have paid in advance, I will. I promise.

Having the stainless steel peg put in was pretty intense, but I will just blame it on menopause. Two doctors did that part, and the other doctor was young and female and did a lot of cooing to soothe me as she held my head in a neck lock. (just kidding folks, she did the suctioning). My favorite part was when she said --Mrs. Lee Ann, I give you all of my kindness, it ok to cry you can cry it o.k. you cry now-- Awe shucks that was the nicest thing anyone had said to me all day, in fact all week. She then complimented me, and at this stage in the game, it sounded pretty good when she said -for a woman your age you have more teeth in your mouth than the average.-

Before I left, I asked the dentist if they ever did gold front teeth anymore, and he gave a deep sigh and said, -alas, no, gold is too expensive, and these days and no one likes to see shine in the front anymore.-

Where were you (10 years ago) at Y2K and what were you doing?

2010-01-01T08:31:00.006-06:00

I was on a nearly empty first flight out of Detroit Metro airport headed for Cancun Mexico and then ultimately for Belize. I figured (correctly) that they would not put that big plane in the air if they thought it would crash.

I was a tier 2 supplier for GM and had to file a Y2K plan months in advance. My plan was this: I plan on turning the clock back one year on all my computer equipment, then unplugging everything. And as it turned out, Y2K was a non-issue.

10 years ago would I have figured that I would be in this place at this time, doing this thing? I came to Belize initially on an exploratory mission. I had checked out other places, and they didn't fit. I knew I wanted out of the rat race, and out of corporate America. I was in the publishing business and subject to crazy deadlines, technology glitches, and other people's bad planning. It nearly wrecked me. So that was the year I decided to bail. Back and forth I went, working on plans & contacts.

I get asked this questions all the time: "Did you come down here on vacation and stay?" And the answer is no, it was part of a 3 year plan to exit. When my youngest daughter went into high school, the light bulb went on over my head and I realized that I didn't HAVE to do this forever and forever. I needed to do something for myself, I had been working since I was 12 years old, first job was in the family business, then for the U.S. government, then for a big university, then a corporate publisher, and then for myself (the worst torture ever imaginable).

10 years ago, I was the typical idealist. I got down here and flopped around for a while, a fish out of water. I made some mistakes and nearly got swindled in a land deal, but somehow some way I was saved by the strangest twist of events. It took a full year to acclimatize myself and not break a sweat at the thought of moving my limbs. On Caye Caulker there are signs saying "Go Slow" and you think that it is referring to the speed of golf carts. Well, really it is the speed for walking. If you walk slow you sweat less.

So this morning, the first morning of 2010, its a little rainy and cool, but living in Belize is still better than having to get a real job.

So, the question I pose is where were you and what were you doing on Y2K?

The Special Request

2009-12-02T19:28:00.002-06:00

Tales from the Evil Photographer

We met the evening before the wedding, it was quick meeting, just to find out the ceremony particulars they had decided on with Sally the Caye Caulker wedding coordinator. In the months before the wedding I had been in email communication with Amber regarding her tastes, what the dress looked like, etc. And I love a beautiful dress.

The trend this year has been for the bride to not be seen by the groom prior to the ceremony, which makes it a little tricky regarding light. Most weddings happen in the late afternoon here on Caye Caulker, and since we are so close to the equator, our days and nights are nearly equal all year long, varying only about 1/2 hour in each direction. So a 4 p.m. wedding only gives me about an hour after the ceremony to do portraits. So we decided that I would come to their hotel and photograph "The Putting on of the Dress" which was a three person job.

The men were summarily dismissed as I arrived and it became Ladies Time with the bride finishing her hair and makeup. The dress was the most beautiful wedding dress I had ever photographed, layers of organza pleats and crystals in a champagne color. It had a vintage feel.

Well, Amber is no vintage girl, she is all spunk, and as we were joking around and chatting, all the while I'm snap snap snapping. She said, "Whatever you do I want you to harass my father."

"Oh, O.K. I can do that." I reply

"I really mean it. Harass him. He has given me nothing but grief this week because I am making him wear a suit and tie. So give it to him. Don't let him take off his jacket."

"O.K." and my mind starts to whirl. He looks like he can take a joke, so I start working on the special request.

As a photographer I am requested to do all sorts of things, but mostly it is in crowd control, like getting a drunk uncle off the pier, or pushing the parents up to the front and moving guests back who in their excitement have pressed forward. And I do it.

But I have never been requested to harass the father of the bride. I rose to the occasion in a kind but stern voice, dead serious.

Daddy, stop sweating

Daddy, take off your sunglasses

Daddy get your hands out of your pockets

Daddy, don't even think about about taking your jacket off

Daddy, I better see you smile or I am going to stop the ceremony and make you show me your teeth.

And he complied.

I could have told him...
Daddy it is time for you to jump in the pool and I believe he would have done it.

I feel so powerful.

This is one of the funny outtakes.

I found this nifty slide show maker on La Gringa's Blogicito. Thank you La Gringa.

The Lost People

2009-12-01T12:31:00.004-06:00

He told me about his big big big project. He was going to do this, and he was going to do that, and So-and-so was his friend. He couldn't have chosen a worse friend (sigh). I think to myself... you are going to get screwed or get smart, hopefully, before the money runs out. I have stopped giving advice about living in Belize, except to a few who will listen. I hope that by telling my own tale of foibles, people will read and learn. Read & learn. We always think we are going to be the exception to the rule. The rule is that: the people you first meet in a new place are rarely the people that have your best interest at heart. You will meet the hustlers and opportunists first. They smell you coming. Watch out for "Opportunity Knocking." You might not want to answer the door.

The money always runs out. The solution to the problem is not to pour money on it. The project was built over subterrainean caves, so the building pilings went plink plink plunk to the bottom of the caves.

"I could have told him there were caves back there" was the response that Bigness gave when I heard about the plink plink plunk going on to the back of the island. His next response was... "You can't tell white people nuttin, dey don't want to listen." We talk about the white people... like I am not one of them.

When you fall in love (with Belize or with a person), no one can tell you anything. You start in this forward motion, and nothing, nothing, nothing will stop you.

I see them come with their big plans, and leave sad, mad and broke. Those who leave right after the money finishes are the smart ones. They came, they tried, they knew it all, and then they left. There are those who stay after the money finishes become lost people. If their paperwork isn't in order, then they can't get their visa extended every month, so they become illegal. Then the passport expires, or it is lost, and time passes so that even if they had the money, they can't leave. They just have to blend in. And they do. I know several people who are without passports. They can't leave, they can't even go across the border into Mexico or Guatemala. They just stay and do their thing, and have been here long enough, that people don't ask too many questions. An interesting characteristic about people in Belize is that, they might gossip about you and call you slek behind your back, but they won't turn you into the police unless you are harassing them.

I remember in the not too distant past a bar manager who was picked up and extradited back to the U.S. He had been working illegal in Belize, for years and years. Everybody knew it, nobody cared, but he harassed and fired the wrong girl! She contacted the Belize Labor Board, who checked with Immigration, who ran a check on the guy who found out there was a warrant out for his arrest. The extradition order came and they (the U.S.) just yanked him out of here like that (snap). He harrassed the wrong girl.

In another case, the Canadian girl had left her country under suspicious circumstances, came here a few months, ran out of money, and then lost her passport (or it was stolen) She wasn't hurting anybody, and even though she was the town whore, nobody cared, everybody knew about her status. But lef dem ting lone mein! It is the white people who are nosey and tattle tales. Belziean's don't care as long as you aren't hurting anybody. Finally someone rescued her 7 years later. How you rescue someone, or rescue yourself, is you have to get a new passport. You/they have to give a statement to the police, in another town that doesn't know you, that you just came into the country and that it was stolen along with your other papers. You take the police report to your embassy and tell them it was stolen or lost, and they will issue you one immediately, provided that the passport wasn't expired. Your embassy doesn't care if you are telling the truth or lying. They just don't want trouble with repatriation, so if you can bring a return plane ticket to show them, more is the better. This only works in Banana Republics or backwaters that are not too swift with their computer systems.

In another instance, this old white lady has been around so long, speaks Kriol perfect, you think she was born here. But one day, after she had drank about a bottle of rum, she told me her story. Many years ago she came to Belize with money. She had been in the pharmaceutical business, and came to retire and buy land. She got swindled out of her money and lost it all, had burned her bridges in the U.S., so felt she had nowhere to go. She wanted to kill herself so she came to the San Pedro to drown herself at the reef, and found that she could swim pretty well... so she started over, living in the park, sleeping on benches under the palapa, going through the trash to find food to eat. She found religion, and the church ladies helped her to establish a little part time business enough to feed her and pay the rent, and here she is all these years later. "Wouldn't you like to go back?" I asked her.
"What for?" she answered
She had made her peace with the situation, reconciled it and was living in the moment.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This was posted on a forum by Rigrat who has Belize Bird Rescue.
An Ode to Belize
All the time we see them come
Some are smart, some are dumb
Some are black, some are white
Chinese, Indian, Israelite
Canadians, South Africans, often Brits
Belize is great, home’s the pits
We tell them come and stay awhile,
Rent a house, Belizean style

Never rush, never jump,
Or you could buy a rubbish dump
“Oh no! Not me” they often cry
“I’ve been around, let them try
I am too clever, worldly-wise
To buy a swamp or collapsed high rise
I know the law, bring them on”
How often do we hear this song?

“I got money, want to spend
Cash to burn, cash to lend”
“Slow down SLOW DOWN we tell them all”
But rarely do they heed our call
To hide your money, don’t be flash
Don’t let them see your petty cash
Take it easy, make no strife
Come and try the easy life

“I know, I know! I have a brain!
Advice you give is all in vain
I’m not stupid, been around,
I’ve seen it all, there’s no new ground
Was in Belize, stayed three days,
Here’s my plans, be amazed
Bought some land, has a creek
Gone home to sell, be back next week”

“Going to build, got so much space
Belize will have to change its pace
I’m getting old, don’t have time
My place will be a real gold mine
I’ll make a fortune wait and see
My plans will work out faultlessly
I’ll start a business make some money
A king in the land of milk and honey”

And so they come despite the warning
Truck piled high and spend all morning
At the border checkpoint getting mad
Thinking that they’re being had
“How can they charge? This stuff’s not new!”
As they watch the customs turn the screw
“My truck is dirty used and old
I DIDN’T BRING THAT MUCH GOLD!”

Credit card reaches max
On environment and sales tax
And their pockets full of hard earned booty
Have emptied fast on import duty
So to the ATM they have to dash
When the Customs guy wipes out their cash
It’s just a setback, not too bad
They’re in Belize so just be glad

So jubilant they wend their way
To the jungle deep where big cats play
Where mozzies bite and scorpions sting
And the bush’s thorns large scratches bring
To the forest damp where mildew grows
To rot your ‘lectrics, shoes and clothes
But they’re not daunted, they are strong
How often have we heard this song?

And oh! What Joy! They find their neighbour
Can build their house, and do hard labour
Can chop their bush, can plant their trees
The smartest man in all Belize
There is nothing that he can’t do
Given cash and tools and wood and glue
A house by Christmas, won’t take long
How often have we heard this song?

But cash aplenty are his needs
To start construction, plant your seeds
A new machete to chop your grass
To build a road so you may pass
He needs material, steel, and screws
Cement and block, no time to lose
Gimme dollah gimme quick
Buy me hammer, saw and brick

He has a cousin, wife and brother’s son
His auntie’s uncle’s sister’s one
His whole family will lend a hand
To build your house and till your land
To cook your meals and wash your clothes
To guard your house whilst you doze
It just takes money, little bit
On little bit and bit and bit

But soon those bills are getting large
The money pit’s not free of charge
The credit card is getting worn
Our new arrivals look forlorn
All the while demands for cash
Are diminishing the money stash
The materials that came were wrong
The nails too short, the steel too long
And wondrous neighbour soon forgot
He told you he could do the lot

Excuses and evasions come
The started work was never done
Sun too hot, it rain too hard
Me granny dead, they burn ma yard
Foot painin me, Ma house collapse
Car done bruk, Licence lapse,
Pickni sick, he very ill
Gimme money to buy a pill
Police ketch me, I done no wrong
How often do we hear this song?

And soon they meet officialdom
To Belmopan they must come
To show their passport, licence, form
To stay in a land of sun and warm
You residency they want to thwart
Your retirement plans may come to naught
Immigration take too long
They’ve lost your file, your paper’s gone
Pay more cash to extend your stay
Wait one month or two they say

The mall’s not built, the shops are bare
Of modern goods ‘cept Chinese fare
No bowling alley, cinema
Was it wise to come this far?
The roads are bumpy have big holes
My pickup truck is looking old
There’s no Big Macs or KFC
Italian restaurant ceased to be
The power’s hardly ever on
How often have we heard this song?

The rains did come, the land did flood
The building site has turned to mud
The lush mangrove that I cut down
Has caused my coconuts to drown
And even though I had a plan
My huge Condo they want to ban
It’s not my fault, Third World you see
I am foreign, they pick on me

My neighbour’s gone, my cash he took
His auntie’s wife could never cook
My tools, my blocks, my roofing tin
Have vanished into air so thin
Cement got wet, the sand was dirt
My funds are gone I lost my shirt
The gas was bad my truck has seized
I won’t accept I’ve been Belized
My health has failed not feeling well
My worldly goods I have to sell
Going back home, where things are normal
Where rules are rules and life is formal

And all because he didn’t listen
To those well versed in his position
He burned his bridges, came too fast
And we all knew he’d never last
We told him loud we told him blunt
NEVER pay your cash up front
NEVER think you know it all
NEVER think our tale’s too tall
And all advice that he forsook
To never jump before you look
Has sent him packing, pockets empty
Back again to lands of plenty

Be even though we are so smug
We know Belize is like a drug
That if you come and stay awhile
You’ll be swept in Belizean style
A pirate’s land, with pirate’s luck
We need their cash, their loot, their buck
Where many fail, just some succeed
To fill that urge, that inner need
To live a life, exotic, free
Of jungle trail and sun and sea

So who can blame them, those who come
To try their luck with what we’ve done
But sure as dawn on misty mornings
The ones that fail, ignored the warnings
That things are done here differently
To the things back home you wish to flee
So bide your time, be at ease
Time means little in Belize
Its not that we don’t know its wrong
But we do get tired of this old song.

Rigrat
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On my last trip to visit family, with the economy in the crapper in Belize as it is in the U.S. I posed this question to my oldest daughter Adria... "What if Mommy has to get a real job?"
She thought for a moment, and answered with aplomb "Well, I wouldn't worry about it, you'll just lie yourself into one just like always."

And I instantly felt more confident.

La Esperanza (the hope)

2009-11-09T20:31:00.024-06:00

The hurricane had sucked out all the breeze, which meant it was perfect for me to photograph my little purses on Tia Ilna’s seaside bench. Bigness, being the baby of the family, Ilna is an older sister, along with Ophelia, Ester and Isabel. It is my favorite place to photograph, but you have to time it just right, the sun canting to the west, a slice of sunlight between the palm branches and the beautiful afternoon golden light streams through. I can feel the light when it is right, and it only lasts about a ½ hour. I have to move fast to get all the shots in today because I am leaving Caye Caulker to go back to Chetumal Mexico. My wedding photography jobs are done and I am headed back to what feels like home now.

I dump the purses out onto the bench, here sits three weeks of work Three whole weeks. I wonder to myself, how much they will sell for at Pretty Ethnic and Belizean Arts in San Pedro. I can only make about 2 a day, and there is no way I can charge for my time. I am competing with mass produced, imported bags from Bali, China and Guatemala. I hope that people can see that they are one-of-a-kind hand beaded on hand painted silk. Truly original, wearable art. I hope, they read the tag which tells them that they can hand wash them, that they are fair trade products. I hope a fancy designer from New York buys some and decides to use them as inspiration for their next collection, and credits me. I also hope that my mother remembers that I am her only daughter.

The funny thing about growing old, is that nothing really changes, we just become more of who we are, softer or stiffer. I hope that Age will soften me.

In February, when my mother visited I found out a couple of new things about her. I found out that when she was a teenager she wanted to play the base violin, not with the bow, but to pluck it and play in a jazz band. He mother made her play the piano, she hated it and wasted the lessons. As a girl, I studied classical piano, or rather tolerated it. I loved the piano, but quit the lessons at age 16 because I just wanted to play like Elton John circa 1976. I can still read a little music, and play every so often, not often enough to keep unrusty though.

I found out that my mother had had a pregnancy before my oldest brother who was born 2 years after my parents married at the ages of 16 and 18.

I found out that the older I get the more like my father I become. Introverted, cerebral, needing a lot of time, brain space, can’t be rushed, quiet. I read the i

nstruction booklet before I start. My mother, who should be my biggest fan, isn’t. And it has always puzzled me. I am not a drug addict, or bank robber, or prostitute. I am just a girl following her dream, wherever it takes

her. My mother doesn’t approve of me. I don’t fit tightly into the box my she wants me in. I’ve tried it, it doesn’t fit me.

It was the quietness of this year, the year I quit my life in Belize, that I had enough head space to create new things. And many new things were created. So, now that I am talking about it again, I will share these new things with you, a little bit at a time.

Favorite Photo - Go Slow (the dog)

2009-11-09T12:09:00.001-06:00

Heather & John, November 7, 2009

2009-11-09T09:21:00.023-06:00

Here is a sampler from that dayLivingroom of Caye Reef

Getting ready, one of the bedrooms at Caye Reef.

The ceremony was on the beach, in a most unlikely place, to the right of Sobre las Olas and across, the street from Herbal Tribe, behind the street vendors.

This makes me dizzy to even look at. But it was shot on the rooftop of the new Caye Reef, under the Lanai. The sunny sky was to the west, while the storm was to the east.... (below). You can sorta see one of the feeder bands behind the hammock.

No, folks, this is not a painted background, this is the real deal.
Chilin on the lounge chairs at Caye Reef
Awe shucks folks, I AM a sentimentalist
Costa Maya Beach Cabanas and Tsunami Adventures dock.

Shot on the beach right in front of Costa Maya Beach Cabanas & Tsunami Adventures

Heather's lucky blue beads. I love the texture on his shirt.

I also love weathered wood.

Greetings from the Peanut Gallery.

More GuRlz!

All Eyes on Ida

2009-11-09T08:45:00.006-06:00

While all eyes were on Ida churning up the coast of Belize, seemingly just beyond the reef, I was watching...

Gurlz with ATTITUDE and Bride on Bike! I love the purses and high heel sandles, and it was a hoot to watch them teetering on the sand. Practicing in advance (about 10 years in advance) for the Miss Lobsterfest Pageant.

I came back to Caye Caulker on the 4th, to shoot a wedding on the 5th, during the system that preceeded Ida, finished that one and faced down Ida on the 7th. Sally, Caye Caulker's wedding coordinator always has her contingency plan, she's on top of the weather situation. Sometimes I think she has a crystal ball. Now, me, I'm a sweaty hyperventillating mess, just prior to shooting, even on a good day. It is not that I don't like shooting weddings. I love it. It is probably one of the most fulfilling jobs I have ever had. It is the nervous tension I self generate, and I can't seem to stop it. maybe I should stop trying to.

"Babes, I don't even know where the plywood is." Bigness tells me that morning. This always catches us like this, late in the season, we think trouble has passed, and then boom, we are right there in it.

"The water is cool cool cool, too cool for a hurricaine." I keep telling myself. And it was cool, both on the 5th and the 7th, the air temperature dipped down into the 70s.

My couple was from the coast of North Carolina, where they understand "WEATHER." And in talking with them the day before the ceremony, the groom was actually grooving on the weather and said "Wouldn't if be great if we could get some lightening in the background of some of the photos.?"

I said, "Well that would be cool, but you wil be standing out there by yourself, because when I see lightening, I run for cover." I remember well the lightening storm that raked across the beach a few years ago and electrocuted a man. All in all, when the time came, the day was perfect, with the storm to the east and sunny sky to the west, cool temperatures. What more could I ask for? It seemed like we all got what we wanted that day.

Bigger is not Always Better

2009-07-14T20:10:00.011-06:00

Sometimes bigger is just bigger.

In Mexico, while it has everything a person could want to buy, eat or do. The people are not friendly in our area. In 9 months I have met 3 people. Yes, you read it right… 3 people. My BELIZEAN Spanish teacher, a BELIZEAN massage therapist and one neighbor who is originally from the city of Merida, a very friendly place. That’s it.

At first I attributed it to the fact that in the beginning I didn’t get out much, I was very focused on setting up my studio and painting. I have to remind myself, I always get what I want. On Caye Caulker I suffered from Noseyneighboritis, people always up into my business. People love to talk here, and there is a fine line between gossip and information, and I have to admit, I participated in the listening and the saying. But what it comes down to is I really need a very quiet controlled environment to do my best work. I can’t be talking, answering the phone or having interruptions. I am the most like my father in that attribute. I need mental space.

When we moved to Mexico it was to a middle class neighborhood of modest homes with two working parents and live-in Guatemalan maids. I felt the open mouth stares from behind closed drapes as we would exit the 10 foot high security/privacy fence to drive somewhere in the car.

“There goes the neighborhood” I imagined them saying to themselves. A white lady and a giant BELIZEAN! What is the world coming to?

My best friend became the pug dog living next door who would only growl at me if I spoke English, but he would try and talk to me if I spoke Spanish. He told me that he was lonely and could he please have a piece of chicken?

I found myself shopping at Chedraui, looking for white ladies to crash my cart into, just for conversation. That's really weird, and I know it, you don't have to tell me.

So, I really got what I wanted. I wanted peace and quiet, and no interfering neighbors, no one calling me bothering me, taking up my time, trying to get me involved in their constant small town drama. I wanted to lower my cost of living, and live in a safe neighborhood (remember my best friend the machette). But life is not perfect. And you don’t know what you got ‘til its gone.

I’m back on Caye Caulker for a few days taking a break from Mexico and to do inventory at the stores selling my artwork and prints. I’m here to TALK. AND TALK AND TALK, as I sit on the street side verandah and people call out to me walking past, in their bikes and golf carts cruising…

"Eeeey! Miss Lee Ann, when you come back?"

"Miss Lee Ann, where you been?"

"Miss Lee Miss Lee Miss Lee, how come I neva de see you again?"

"Miss Lee Ann how you like Mexico?"

"Miss Lee Miss Lee, bring me some ah dat cheap food from Mexico!"

"Miss Lee, I gonna come see you in Mexico!"

"Miss Lee Ann how yu like Mak Donals?"

“I like Burger King better” I reply

“OFF OFF OFF” the little kids chanted on the street as the electricity flickered on for a moment and then browned out again.

Caye Caulker in the dark with no boom boxes or lights, people sounds only, no machines. Its nice. I’m fine, I can operate on batteries for quite a while. There is a breeze blowing, no need for a fan.

“Shutup gial!” I hear a tired mother trying to run a restaurant without current hushes her daughter who is happy and excited about another power outage. "This current jussa harass mi!" To kids its fun, but to businesses its a killer.

“Gial, current gaaan agayn” Bigness booms from the bedroom where he was watching Belize TV news discussing the Maya alliance and their conflict with central government over land rights, titles and leases. This problem is not unique only to Belize, it is this way all over the world, indigenous people treated like immigrants and immigrants treated like royalty.

Current back on for a few minutes, I’m ready to plug again and down down down the lights go. I stay unplugged during these episodes until I’m sure its safe. I don’t like the effect that the power surge has on my things and we all know that the electricity company never wants to take responsibility for damage from power outages, brownouts and spikes.

“Gial, the TV cure itself” Bigness announces from the bedroom. As the power goes back on.

One good thing that came from this power outage is, the sound on the TV in the master bedroom magically started working again. For 3 days Bigness has been lip reading the news and watching 12 Corezones, and doing, of all things… reading. I told him the "sound out" was practice for when he goes deaf, and then instantly felt guilty for saying it. It got a chuckle out of him, he LOVES my insults. I know, that's weird too, you don't have to tell me. If my 74-year-old mother heard me say that to my husband, she would wash my mouth out with Fels Naptha soap.

Now that the current is back on the only thing standing between Bigness and Caso Cerrado is that the cable TV company isn’t back online yet.

I feel like telling Bigness to hit it with a hammer to see if he can make it work. That’s my father’s personality in me and something I heard him say over and over facetiously as I was growing up with a self-taught mechanical genius. But I stifle it.

We go like this in fits and streaks. Current will be good good good for months, and then blip blap blam, its off. We are not experiencing the blackouts that San Pedro and villages on the mainland are, due to the fact that our juice comes from 3 giant diesel engines on the back side of the island. We are not hooked up to the national grid, and I don’t know if we really want to be either. Given that the majority of Belize’s electricity comes from a national grid that is supplied by Mexico, and Mexican hydroelectric power is at a low due to less rain this year. The Mexican newspaper announced that there will be power outages as they are not able to keep up with demand. I’m o.k. with the 3 diesel engines on the back side of the island and marvel sometimes at how very reliable our current is.

If I have to be anywhere in the world when the electricity goes off, it would be Caye Caulker with its people noise and the sound of palm trees in the breeze.

So, during my self imposed exile I created many many many little things. With this economic climate people don’t want to spend much money, so if any sales are made, they are the smaller pieces. I have new jewelry and small paintings. I’m now creating a silk self matt for these 10” x 10” silk paintings. They are available online (soon to be offered on my website) and at River’s Edge Gallery in Wyandotte, Michigan, in Belize at Pretty Ethnic in San Pedro, Caesar’s Place in San Ignacio, Fine Arts in Belize City, Los Cocos Cantina on Caye Caulker, and Art-n-Soul in Placencia. The price for a framed painting at River’s Edge Gallery in Wyandotte, Michigan is $97.00. I am offering them unframed in Belize for $47.50 U.S. and for an internet sale add $30 U.S. for shipping.

Living La Vida Boca

2009-07-08T10:26:00.004-06:00

Prior to moving to Chetumal Mexico I searched the internet for a Spanish school in Chetumal, to no avail. An acquaintance found me a private tutor, a Belizean man studying at the university and living in Chetumal. So at least once I week I get my Spanish class, which is tailored to what I need to survive here. I couldn’t imagine sitting through a public Spanish class and asking the teacher… “Como se dice ‘Do you have hormone cream for menopause’ in Espanole?”

How do you say “I am 48 and learning a new language.” In Spanish?

My first meeting with the Spanish Teacher established that I knew quite a few words, which made me proud. My pronunciation and grammar were, let’s say, not as good as the 3 year old who lives in the house behind us. I am unlearning all the bad Spanish grammar and pronunciation taught to me by Bigness so that people won’t laugh (and call me an idiot to my face) or get that puzzled look on their face which tells me “we think she is saying Spanish words, but what are they?” Bigness thinks my Spanish is already good enough, all he has to do now is to teach me the curse words.

My one saving grace is that I don’t care how stupid I sound. No, really, I don’t. And when I get real frustrated I revert to English, which has a startling effect on sales personnel (especially when I use the phase “No speaky Spanish” and turn my palms up). A couple of times the have answered me in English. And I wonder why they couldn’t have put me out of my misery a little sooner.

I came here with some misconceptions. I assumed I would start out asking questions in my mush mouth Spanish and invariably I would get an answer in English. I assumed that if the clerk didn’t understand me, he or she would find someone to interpret. I think every foreign country should be this nice when dealing with egotistical English speakers. NOT SO. Big new to me: in Mexico they speak SPANISH and in Chetumal, Mexico which borders an English speaking country, they have just started teaching English in High School THIS YEAR. Nobody is busting out in English here to rescue me when I refer to MYSELF as ustedes. For the non-Spanish speaker, a rough translation is that, I have a bad habit of referring to myself as YOU in the plural form. I just blunder through with my 100 phrases adapted and borrowed from. I just describe the thing if I don’t know the word for it, the colors, the size, and eventually someone understands my kitchen Spanish. I've stopped caring how ridiculous I sound when I point to the door and call it a window, because maybe someday “me talk pretty”. Yes, I actually pointed to the door at Sam’s Club and said “Abierto la ventana, por favor” and they opened the door, even though I had just called it a window. See... I’m making progress.

So now Bigness and I play a game when we are out shopping. I do all the talking – in SPANISH. And I only talk to him in ENGLISH and I act as a mentally challenegged interpreter for him. He lets me know how close I am to understanding what they are really saying. I get more respect that way, no one clicking their teeth at me. I would like to think it is because my Spanish is improving, but down deep I know it is because my ham fisted 6 foot 4 inch husband is so scary looking. I make excuses for myself trying to joke in Spanish and explain to the unsuspecting taxi driver or store clerk that my school for spanish is the telenovella (Spanish soap opera), it sometimes gets a chuckle, but most of the time I get a worried look.

Spanish Vocabulary

2009-05-17T09:21:00.002-06:00

I know that SHUT UP is not a Spanish phrase so I say it quietly in English out of the corner of my mouth at the Mexican woman next to me at the internet cafe who is talking VERY LOUDLY on her cell phone. So loud I can hardly think, and then I tear off a peice of paper, wad it up and stick it in my ear on that side to try and block the conversation from which I understand 1 in 8 words, the rest sound like SLDKFJD CKLSDLKS SKDKFEOWK mi amore.
We are the only two here, so I don´t understand why she chose to sit right next to me where there are a dozen other computers. Must like my perfume or maybe I´m a people magnet again.

I look over to the attendant to give him the "please shut her up" look with my eyes, but he is busy chatting in messenger and managing his music downloads.

The Spanish teacher says that I should say:
"Senora, silencio, por favor" which translates to "Mrs. Lady, quiet please." but that would lead to other Spanish words which would lead to me having to say "Sorry, no speaky Spanish," ...again.

I would so the shush! sound but it would be mistaken for the hiss sound and that can only mean trouble for me, so for today I am just balling up a peice of paper and shoving it in my ear on that side.

Swine Flu Update 2

2009-05-04T10:33:00.005-06:00

I´m typing from a Spanish keyboard, so if it my typing looks funny to you, imagine how it looks to me. My fingers don´t know quite what to do.

It seems that the crisis here is nearly over. Any suspected cases in Chetumal were mild, the patients treated and sent home the same day. The schools are still closed but will reopen soon. I am still not putting my fingers in my mouth or nose or eyes, so I feel pretty safe. Bigness is practicing covering his mouth when he sneezes, however, once the crisis is over, I imagine he will go back to being a directional spray nozzle again.

They closed the Corozal Free Zone in Belize and are guarding it with BDF soldiers since they estimate that 4000 people work and shop there daily. There have beenno reported cases of the flu in Belize as of today. Doctors on both sides of the Mexico/Belize border are standing by to assist any suspected cases trying to cross the border.

Store clerks are still wearing the blue masks though, which I kinda like since I can´t really see them snarling at me when they wear them properly covering the nose and mouth. I can hear, however the growls and gnashing teeth.

Swine Flu Update

2009-04-29T10:40:00.002-06:00

The swine flu may have reached Chetumal, Mexico with 5 suspected cases in the hospital. They have closed the schools and have advised people to stay home for a while. I´m seeing about 1 in 10 people wearing the surgical masks. For myself I´m not high risk since I hardly ever leave the house anyway and I promised myself when I moved to Mexico to not stick my fingers in my mouth. I am most concerned with Belize closing its border with Mexico, that would really mess things up.
So I´m making preparations for a long quarantine, stocking up on food and medicine and hunkering down. My gut feeling is that as usual the media overblows everything and that its not as bad a they make it seem, but on the other hand...

Practice Makes Perfect

2009-02-06T10:52:00.003-06:00

My Mom is coming for a short visit to escape from the frozen North.

So, Bigness and I are practicing:
Closing the bathroom door
Not talking with our mouths full of food
Eating with silverware

Things that he still need to work on:
Bathroom sounds and running commentary describing things even with the door closed, the prolific use of the word FOK and wearing shoes.

Things that I still need to work on:
Brushing my hair, the use of room spray and not walking around in my underwear

We wouldn´t want her to think we are animals of course, but when you´re not out there trying to impress someone, its amazing how you let things go.

Sometimes Impatience is a Virtue

2009-01-11T04:25:00.002-06:00

The first house in Chetumal didn’t work out so well. It’s a learning curve we are on. The arrangements were made, deposits were paid, lots of conversations in Spanish between Bigness and the house owner. Si!Si!Si! And 3 weeks later when we arrived, nothing had been done. NOTHING. No water or electricity turned on, no yard cleaned, broken windows, dead cockroaches everywhere. I think I heard WTF uttered about 10,000 times that day. I decided I could deal with this, since My Little Monster (Bigness) was about to blow his top. So he left to go live in the middle of the party (back to Caye Caulker) until things straightened themselves out. We did actually have water though, it was in the form of a 100 gallon cistern on the top of the house, which meant that I could at least flush the toilet and take a quick shower.

So basically, for the next 3 days I became a mall rat, biding my time, waiting for the electrician to come and check the wiring in the house so that the electricity could be turned on and the meter installed. I was the consummate browser, sashaying through the aisles in CHEDRAUI. Hours were spent comparison shopping for sandwich rolls. In the larger stores they pretty much leave you alone, and actually I’ve found that the clerks kinda run or scoot around the corner when they see me coming. I guess they feel like my Spanish assaults them. But I am digressing.

I was staying in the house rather than at a hotel, and just dealing with the camper’s dilemma of what to do after dark and no electricity. I guess that’s what they invented movie theatres for. The electrician did show up 2 days later, and what an entrance he made. I had cleaned the house and had started purchasing furniture. All of this was exhausting especially since I couldn’t watch Oprah on TV while doing it. So I had just taken a shower and lay down on the newly delivered bed nekkid. This electrician must have a 2nd job as a cat burglar. I never heard him coming. Needless to say, my life is so predictable. I was walked in on, and to my surprise he didn’t seem to notice that I was sans attire. Maybe this is something he’s used to, walking on big fat white ladies reclined and probably snoring. Anyhow, I’m sure I blushed as I grabbed for the sheet and scurried into the bathroom to dress, although I don’t know why I bothered. The clothing was for me, not for him, something to do with my self esteem I guess. He just went about his business checking outlets, and light sockets, because he had run a line directly from the pole into the house (down the metal fence – didn’t look so safe to me), let there be light. Now all we need is water to flush the toilet, glass for some windows, etc. etc. Bigness came back the next day in time for the 100 gallon cistern to deplete and to the announcement that “The electrician saw my tits and I think my ass too.”. WTF was uttered about another 10,000 times and I thought he was going to throw himself down on the ground and have a screaming fit. All of the cooing and petting in world wasn’t going to make My Little Monster settle down.

So that was when impatience became a virtue. Across the street and over 2 houses was a sign “House for Rent” I hadn’t noticed it before. We went over and peeped through the street side access window (complete with burglar bars and chicken wire) into the inner courtyard. There was no though of going closer because a 10’ high fence (with spikes on top) and a metal privacy gate kept you out. So he called the phone number and the lady came right over. We moved in the same day.

I would have stuck it out at the other house, but I’m so glad now that Impatience is a Virtue with My Little Monster. The new house is still in our budget, but its so much nicer with air conditioning in the bedroom, cable TV, ceiling fans in all the rooms, ceramic tile, water heater, intercom from the kitchen to the front gate, and a covered verandah in the back where I have my studio.

I feel content.

Little Bo Leep

2008-12-20T22:01:00.002-06:00

Little Bo Leep
has lost her links
and doesn't know where to find them

Leave them alone
and NO ONE will come home
waggin their tails behind them

When I changed my template, I didn't read the fine print (a character flaw of mine) and poof they were gone. Ctrl-Z Ctrl-Z Ctrl-Z Undo Undo Undo I typed, but no one in cyberspace heard me. Crying and screaming didn't help, but it sure quieted the neighborhood down.

Please email me at caribbeancolors1 at yahoo.com because I'm too lazy to read through the 1400 pages of comments and click on the comments links.

Getting Ready to Bust a Move

2008-11-15T20:28:00.004-06:00

I’m really bad a finishing a story, and answering the door. If you knock long enough, I’ll eventually answer the door, or the phone, so thank you to those friends who have emailed me asking what is going on.

I've been playing my cards pretty close to my chest as we were making major decisions and turning this way and that trying to figure our way out of this maze.

I feel like Rumpelstiltskin, having woken up from a 20 year sleep with the price of everything doubled. I thought I was going to go into shock walking down the aisle at Brodies where they hadn’t even bother to peel off the old price sticker before sticking down the new ones which were 50% higher across the board. In general, imported foods from the U.S. cost double, but we still indulge ourselves in a few luxury items. Most of what we buy is grown locally, rice beans, chicken, vegetables, fruit. It had been months since I had actually been grocery shopping. Bigness usually does the shopping in Belize City weekly, because prices in general are too high on Caye Caulker. If tomatoes are 1 bzd a lb (50 cents U.S.) at the central market in Belize City, then they are 4 bzd a lb. ($2 U.S.) on Caye Caulker.

He had been complaining of price hikes, but then again he complains about the price of everything. His favorite reminiscence is about Target in the 1990s where he could get a polo shirt for $4.

“Babes, next time you’re in de steytes, get some more of deez shuts fa me. I oonly peey foor dalla fa dis one” and he stretches the threadbare polo shirt over his belly.

“What century was that?” I answer.

I hate that friggin shirt, I think to myself and make a mental note to turn it into cleaning rags when he’s not looking. You know, the burgundy one with a stripe across his chichis and the moth eaten hole conveniently located at his belly button (ventilation).

With food prices up 50% on most of our essentials like rice, beans, and butane gas for cooking. Plus now with the great floods of 2008 detroying large portions of the rice, corn and sugar cane, Belize will have to import all these staples. Tourism reported to be down 25% for the last 2 quarters. Reported, that is by the tourist board, as an average for the country. But I know that for Caye Caulker we were way lower than the 25% drop that our tourist board reported. High season started late in 2007 and Easter came early in 2008. As an example, last year, even with hurricane Dean at the end of August, I still made my break even. This year, for the month of August I was down 75% from last year.

I DO DECLARE
Even with downsizing, I now know I am not recession proof.

I made the tough decision to close my store after having a continuous presence on Caye Caulker for 7 years. I’ve decided to take a year off, close down and wait out the U.S. recession which has directly affected tourism in Belize. I am still going to have my paintings, prints and sarongs available throughout Belize at these fine stores:
Belizean Arts in San Pedro - prints, original art, cards and jewelry
Pretty Ethnic in San Pedro - original silk paintings, prints, silk sarongs and jewelry
Fine Arts in Belize City located near Wet Willy's outside of the Tourist Village has original silk paintings and prints
Caesar’s Place in San Ignacio on the Western Highway near Gerogeville has prints and cards
Art-N-Soul in Placencia on the sidewalk has original art, prints and jewelry
Los Cocos Cantina - in my old location next to the police station on Caye Caulker has prints and a few originals
De java House on Caye Caulker located next to Atlantic Bank has prints and jewelry

In the U.S. you can get my original art at River's Edge Gallery in Wyandotte and in New York City Chelsea District at the Agora Gallery.

In the interim I am only selling wholesale, to art galleries and on the internet and with 7 outlets carrying my art and merchandise, I'm pretty busy creating enough stock and painting almost full time now, when I'm not playing Spider Solitaire on my laptop.

Bigness and I are going to slide 6km over the border to Chetumal Mexico to lower our cost of living to less than ½ of what we’re living on now.

We have emptied out the Little House in the Bush, and put someone there to take care of the property since it has become too dangerous for me to stay there alone. We can not sell the property because we were SWINDLED by the former PUP Belize government (that is a WHOLE other story)... and a class action lawsuit. As we have recenlty found out that the DFC (Development Finance Corporation) has been lying to us for several years.

"Yah, we're going to get you your title, its in proces, the lawyers have it, everything is fine, just keep giving us your money, its going to go through before the election, no, we have to wait until after the election, we're reorganizing after the election blah blah blah." the lies go on and on and on with the DFC. So many rumours and nobody knows what's going on.

The former PUP government who dreamed up this project called Mahogany Heights on Mile 31, did not have clear title to the property before they sold us ours (and to 300 other families), and they knew it, and still did it. Someone needs to go to jail for this. Might I suggest someone with the initials of SM, RF and GG, all former leaders of the People's United Party?

We’ve decided to go to Chetumal to wait out the sale of Bigness’ prime beachfront commercial property on Caye Caulker. We are in no hurry to sell and will be waiting for the right buyer. WHO will the right buyer be? The one who has the money.

Plans for the future? We are not giving up on Belize, but are taking a break. Once the property on Caye Caulker sells. We plan on staying in Belize, but splitting our time between it and the U.S. In the meantime I am setting up my studio in Chetumal and will only be here in Belize when I have to do business, or if friends are visiting, or when we have a check-in to the beach house.

I bet you wish he was your boyfriend too!

2008-11-03T17:23:00.005-06:00

Bigness has tired of the power outages, the water outages and has pretty much dumped me in the bush to finish my projects while he goes to Caye Caulker to live in the middle of a party.

Peanut, the closest neighbor across the way, has been admonishing me for my non-Belizean faux pas while helping clean and cook at the little house in the bush. When I’m involved in a big painting production, I barely take time to even bathe. I don’t actually need help at home, but its nice sometimes to get some help and to hear a human voice.

“Miss Lee Ann noh hang yu laundry close to da chaya tree. It make you itchy itchy.” Peanut moves the laundry from where I pinned it out, to a different spot on the line.

“Miss Lee Ann mek Mr. Bigness chop down dis chaya tree, it too close to yu batroom window and pipple can peep on you. Mek I call Carmel Corn (her boyfriend) ova to do dis ting.”

“Miss Lee Ann mek I kill de spring chicken inna for you batroom” and she points to the little tiny frog clinging to the wall of the shower.
“Why?”
“Dey is pieyzon”
“Poison?
“Noh mek he piss pon you. Pass me the fish spray”

(Fish spray is a super toxic insecticide made in Trinidad)

“Miss Lee Ann, dis how you have your machete?” Peanut points with her lips at the machete laying on the floor next my bed that I named “Boyfriend”.
“Sure,” I say puzzled, not knowing where this is going
“Ayee yi yi gial! Yu not fraid fu cut up fa yu foot?
“Ahhhh” I had never thought of it that way. You know you’re in for trouble when you name your machete “Boyfriend” That's a rule in life, also here's another one: don't ever date a man who is named after a disease.

“Mek I show you how to do it.” she takes the sharp edged 30” blade and slips it between the mattress and foundation, then lays down on the bed to show me where her hand easily dangles near the handle.
“See how easy easy easy?”
“Ooooo. Kaaaaay.” I answer wondering how I made it this long without killing myself.

I went to bed that night with the satisfaction that my sheets wouldn’t itch me, the poison frog wouldn’t piss on me and I wouldn’t step on the machete.

After the break-in last year in December, Bigness installed additional outside lighting, motion sensors and some simple battery operated door alarms you can get at Radio Shack. I used these alarms years ago during my three daughters’ teen years to keep them in the house and to keep boys out. They work with a little key and can be set for instant alarm or give you 15 seconds to disarm after entering. They emit the most annoying blood curdling scream that could drive you to murder. At night I set them to instant. It had gotten to be a routine, and I started to feel like I was being security paranoid. I would let them go off every once in a while for a few seconds just to remind everyone within hearing distance that we here were PROTECTED and READY FOR INTRUDERS.

A couple of things I’ve learned since living in Belize are: hide your purse in a closet and away from even closed windows with burglar bars, keep your cell phone charged, and keep credit in your phone. Run out of phone credit in the middle of the night and there ain’t no 7-11 on the corner open all night.

Minutes after 4 a.m. I was woken up by the hair-raising shrill screaming of our door alarm system. Disoriented with the alarms screaming at me I thought the intruders were already in the house.

I hauled out the machete now conveniently located near my dangling hand, slammed shut and locked the bedroom door and called Peanut. She and Carmel Corn were closer to the house than the police. (more reliable too)

“What happen Miss Lee Ann?” a sleepy Peanut answers the phone
“Look at the house, Peanut” is anyone out there?”
“Nooooooooh, Miss Lee Ann……… oh FAAAAAAAK, Carmel Corn, git up!” a man was crouched beneath her window.

Carmel Corn sprang into action like the little incredible hulk that he is and chased a young man around 18 years old, thin and dark skinned wearing a white shirt and khaki pants back into the bush behind their house where he lost him. He melted away into the darkness.

Needless to say, I didn’t get much sleep that night and in the morning found a piece of rebar bent to the shape of a square C that the would-be burglar used to push through the burglar bar screen door to try and pop open the steel door.

The next night went by uneventful, however nervous I was, I finally drifted off into a fitful sleep only to find that in the morning the screen on the front door had been peeled back in another attempt.

What about the police? I called to inform them of what had happened, but no one came, it was after the fact. They suggested I get a gun.

Bigness assured me that it was ONLY sprungheads trying to phish the room, for whatever they could pick with a stick and sell for 5 to buy a rock. He reassured me that the only way into the house was with a car, a chain and a bumper.

I think that’s pretty facey that the house would be under attack when I’m there. Its obvious, the car is in front, the lights are on. These bad boys are getting BOLD.

In MYSPACE they have a mood section, I am unnerved.

Art credits:

Hand-painted silk

Bamboo & Banana Leaf 20" x 28" $250

Lillies in the Window 20" x 28" $300

Sweet Plumeria 20" x 28" $250

Conspiracy Theory

2008-11-02T08:45:00.006-06:00

The Little House in the Bush
If something drastic electricity-wise (read: exploding transformers or downed lines) happens on Caye Caulker, after dark, we know that we have to wait until daybreak for a technician to come over by boat from San Pedro. On the mainland of Belize where the Little House in the Bush is, we don’t have transportation issues in getting repair technicians in place, we have problems with theft and sabotage.

Recently, the whole area was without water for 5 days because theives had stolen the pump and water purification system from the community well. Talk about cutting your nose off to spite your face...

The electricity went out at 9 p.m.

“FAAAAAAAAAK!” I said very loudly, and instantly felt better.

I had consumed 2 big cups of coffee an hour earlier so I could stay up late and paint. Bigness was already asleep, but the dead calm blanket of air air woke him up.

“Better jump in the shower to cool off before the tank empties”, I called from the kitchen where I was looking for the lighter to get the candles going.

“FAAAAAAAAAK!” he said very loudly, and instantly felt better.

We lucked out, the water in the community well’s holding tank lasted until both of us could shower and I could fill up the two five gallon jugs we keep for spare water.

I unhooked the computer from the UPS battery backup and hooked the fan to it setting it on low to conserve the battery. It was so hot, the air hardly moving at all, like breathing through a blanket, the air hung on my neck.

The laptop battery was fully charged so I set it to low consumption and put in the DVD, “Teeth” a movie that I had just received from the bootleg movie guy. Every man’s nightmare, a cautionary tale. I love Indy movies, and this one won a Sundance Award and a bunch of others.

A totally pointless and psycho movie about a high school girl, not very in touch with her own body, and to put it simply, a girl who’s coco chews off boy carrots if they are not nice to her.

Bigness was my captive audience. I knew as long as the fan was semi-blowing, he wouldn’t stray too far.

It made him chuckle, and then laugh the unabashed belly laugh I love to hear, especially during the really gory parts, blood squirting, boy carrots being flung hither and yon. He stayed awake during the entire film, which is a record, since usually 30 minutes into any movie he’s snoring, unless there are nekkid ladies jumping up and down.

The movie finished, and the computer died. After 2 hours I called the electric company and a very nice young man answered the complaint line when I inquired why and for how long. He told me that someone had cut a high tension electricity pole with a chain saw to steal the copper from it. The electricity company techicians had to install a new pole.

THEIVES CUT DOWN A HIGH TENSION ELECTRIC LINE SERVICING THE WHOLE AREA TO STEAL THE COPPER FROM IT.

That just pissed me off.

I finally slipped off to sleep, sweating under the sheet that was keeping the mosquitoes at bay and woke up hours later to the sound of the big ceiling fan in the bedroom on high speed whamp whamp whamp sounding like a helicopter rotor, and the lights blazing through the house. Only, after turning the big overhead helicopter-sounding ceiling fan off, I realized that I was actually hearing a helicopter outside in the night. The only legitimate (read: legal) helicopter sounds we hear in the night are British military search and rescue. This wasn’t a British military helicopter I was hearing, this was someone else taking off and landing on the next field over. Helicopters in the night, are never a reassuring sound. I try to not ask too many questions, but why are helicopters taking off and landing in fields in the middle of the night just west of my little house in the bush near Mile 31 on the Western Highway?

Things will get worse before they will get better.

The Visitors

2008-10-03T16:01:00.004-06:00

I heard the neighbor’s dog bark, then the crickets stopped talking their sing song. I knew someone was approaching the house. The afternoon had slipped into evening and very few lights were burning, except for in my studio where I had spent all afternoon painting silk sarongs. I like it here in my little house in the bush, neighbors not too close, so quiet I hardly ever even hear car sounds from the highway a mile away.

Knock knock knock, at the front of the house, haloooooo anywan der? Halooooo, haloooooo, haloooo. Bam bam bam on the big steel door.

I think to myself, be gentle on that door whoever you are, or the newly installed alarms will announce themselves in the ear piercing squeal meant to warn me, and scare you.

I look at my watch, its 8 o’clock at night, pitch black dark. So absorbed in what I’m doing I haven’t put on the outside lights. No one comes a-knockin after dark unless its trouble. Even the Jehovah’s Wickedness missionaries only come to harass us in daylight hours.

I know its not my neighbor, Peanut with her baby boy, who lives across the way, because she hails me with her happy voice “Miss Lee Ann, Miss Lee Ann, whe yu deh, Miss Lee Ann.”

We don’t have doorbells here.

This voice calling me isn’t happy.

I walk down the hallway into the unlit living room and flip on the porch light. Its two women, one big and dark and angry, the other a Creole woman with her hair platted, and pretty face.

"Yes?"
I don’t open the door, instead I haul up the miniblind in the kitchen and speak to them through the window. Rule #4) Never open the door at night.

“Is your husband here?” the Creole woman asks

I answer, “Why do you want to know?”

“We want to talk to him about something”

“What is it you want to talk with him about?”

And on it goes back and forth, with me not revealing that he is not at home, that I am alone, and them not revealing what they want to talk about. Each of us doing our verbal dance around the other.

She finally relents and tells me that she wants to talk with him about calling the court case off, which goes to trial the next day. I had already figured out what they were after. They want to convince Bigness to call off the court case, the case that we have been waiting 9 months to go to trial. She wants to appeal for her lee bredda (little brother) how he sowry fa doing da ting and he promise to nevva evva steal from us again.

I lie.
I tell them that he’s resting.
I lie.
I was giving him a massage.
I lie
He’s not going to get up out of bed to talk to anybody.
I lie.
That I know from my experience that he’s hard headed and once he puts it into his mind to do something, nothing changes his mind. Well, I didn’t lie about the last part. I tell them to not waste their breath.

But still they persist, they think they can work their feminine treasures on him.

I apologize for my husband’s bad manners in not coming to the door to talk to them.

They say, start with an apology before you drop the bomb.

I take a deep breath and then let loose.

“This was no random break in. Your Lee Bredda knew which house to target because someone, probably his family has been watching me from back there,” and I point with my lips over their shoulder to the area where they came from,

I have a problem with, once I start blowing hot air, I have a hard time stopping myself.

“Someone has been stalking me, watching my comings and goings. He knew no one was at home”

“Your brother didn’t just drive up one night and decide this was a good house to pick and then haul the big steel doors off the side of the house with his car.”

“What he didn’t know is that we have a neighborhood watch, and keep a check on each other in this here street. We all know who is who and what is what.

“He teif me and get caught red handed, the police did their job, there’s no discussion. I hope he can rehabilitate himself in prison, get his high school diploma, maybe take some computer classes so when he comes out, he will be ready to do something besides steal.”

"Ahright den." the ladies say as they turn and leave.

I turn on the rest of the outside lights and then scurry to the bathroom to call my neighbors and then the police to report the harassment. Why the bathroom you ask? Its the only room in the house which is semi soundproof.

“Ah Miss Lee Ann, you aright?” Peanut is the first on my list of calls. “Me and Carmel Corn (her husband) see de people come up to your house and Carmel Corn haul out de machete and wait right by de door for watch and see iffan you be safe Miss Lee Ann, we watch for ah.”

I call Maria next, then Mr. Tony and give them the all clear. This area has become a passing through area for thieves and gangbangers from Belize City and Democracia.

I call Bigness and admonish him for leaving me alone the night before the trial, he should know how his people are. He had forgotten, they go after the family. I didn't sleep well that night.

Trial and Error

I woke early and had to leave for Belize City driving along the Western Highway to reach before 9 a.m. I parked the car at the Water Taxi lot and walked the two blocks to the Magistrate's Court. The arresting officer was already there and introduced himself to me as we stood on the courthouse steps. Bigness had ironed his shirt, tucked it into his pants, ironed his pants, was wearing a belt and shoes. Already the sun was hot. There was a delay, one of the prisoners had escaped and they had to catch him before proceeding with the trial. Oh joy!

We stood outside, and stood and stood and stood, making small talk. Several women tried calling to Bigness and I over and over again. The family of the thieves trying to appeal to our sense of something or another. I turned my back on them and hardened my heart. Bigness gave them his monster face. Lots of people milling around on the courthouse steps and I asked Bigness who they were. Two of the three thieves were right there right nearby. The arresting officer realized I was melting and put us in a side courtroom which was air conditioned to wait out the negotiations. You see, the ringleader had hired himself Liar (lawyer) and was claiming innocence even though they were caught red handed with the stolen goods. It came down to, did we want to go thru with a big trial which could take months and months wasting the court’s time when there were murderers to prosecute, and in the meantime all of our stuff would spoil in the police lockup. Or, were we willing to let them offer a plea bargain. One of Belize’s problems is inexperienced prosecutors trying to make the best of a jacked up system. The prosecutor on this case was a police sergeant. I am not blaming him for what happened next, its just a cautionary tale. The criminal attorneys are experienced, they know the law inside and out, and have been working the system for years. It seemed like when the prosecutor was faced with going up against this attorney, he backed down. So the plea bargain was offered and accepted. Two of the boys got off with time served and one (the driver) got one year for handling stolen goods, a lower offence than breaking and entering with the use of a vehicle.

I asked the police officer how much the lawyer charged the family and he told me it was nearly as much as if they had just bought the stuff and not stolen it. It took several days to get our stuff back, much of it was broken, some missing. Brand new items spoiled forever.

I stopped caring right about when I had to stand out in the sun that morning with the thieves watching me and calling to me to please feel mercy. I now know who I will hire if ever I'm in trouble.

Photo Friday - August 29 - Excercise

2008-09-02T00:44:00.002-06:00

The last golden days of summer, May and Jelly Bean chase each other aound the fountain.

The Detroit Show

2008-09-01T07:03:00.006-06:00

"ModernTechnology Meets Art" is the name of the exhibition ongoing with Ted Johnson at River's Edge Gallery in Wyandotte, Michigan

The thing is, my life seems to be coming together at the 11th hour. It is not for lack of planning, the plans are there... its just coming to fruition at the last possible moment, something breaks through. The plane ticket was purchased 2 days before flying from Cancun to Detroit, so I had to leave a day early to travel up the Yucatan to get from here to there. Bigness drove me to Chetumal, where I took the midnight bus to Playa Del Carmen, Mexico arriving at 4:30 a.m. I took a 10 minute cab ride from the ADO bus station to the other bus station where you take the shuttle to the airport. We had purchased snacks at Chedraui (the Mexican equivalent of Walmart) in Chetumal for me to have breakfast, some baked goods, a bottled coffee drink, peelable fruit. I avoided anything with meat in it. I arrived at the airport bus shuttle terminal a couple of hours before it opened, although it never physically closes, the ticket cages were empty, and all the benches were filled with sleeping people draped like they were melting in a Salvador Dali painting. I was so tired, already, and hungry. I ate my breakfast and then spread my windbreaker jacket on the floor of the bus station and layed down to take a little rest before running the gauntlet in the airport. I layed my head on my suitcase, wedged my carryon back pack behind me and physically layed on top of my purse. I must have fallen asleep, because when I woke up about an hour later my stomach was ROLLING. You know the feeling, its the oops, what's happening to me feeling, I'm getting sweaty and clammy and I NEED TO FIND THE BATHROOM SOON! No one was stirring yet as it was still before 6 a.m., and the bathrooms were up the long long stairs. So, I drug my suitcase up up up, backpack on my back, and was confronted with the turnstyle entrance to the bathroom. I hoisted my suitcase over the turnstyle tipping it inside the entrance and let it drop, hoping that there were enough clothes inside my suitase to cushion the laptop from the fall (there were). I put my 3 pesos into the machine and stepped into the turnstyle with my backpack still on my back, not wanting to launch it over the barrier as it contained my camera. I got about 6 inches into the turn and the turstyle stopped. It appeared that I hadn't launched my suitcase far enough and the edge was caught in the turnstyle, and with the backpack on my back, I couldn't really move my arms . I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck. A sense of urgency is about to explode from the depths within me. I can hear footsteps on the stairs behind me, let it be someone who can help I say to myself, and look over my right shoulder at a little girl, a real little girl with 3 pesos in her hand. And I said in my best immitation of a spanish accent "Por Favor". She climbed the gate, unstuck the suitcase, I passed through the turnstyle, she climbed back over, inserted her 3 pesos into the slot and passed through next. I did what I came to do and left for the airport with a burgeoning case of food poisoning, which had me sick for almost a week. I got better the day before the opening.

River's Edge Gallery scheduled a meet the artist reception the same night as the Wyandotte Wine Crawl. What a great idea. The downtown merchants sponsored it by buying the wine that was served at each establishment that participated, and 1000 wine glasses were sold. You would purchase a wine glass and go from place to place tasting samples of Michigan wines. If I look a little bit drunk in the photos, it is because I AM. The reception and show response and attendance was great, and the show will continue to hang in River's Edge Gallery until September 13. After that, you can still purchase the peices from them. Christmas is on its way. In my absence, Supergirl

and my Dad did all the framing and delivered the show to the gallery by the due date. I could have never achieved this without their dedicated assistance.

Check out the show review at The Detroit Fashion Pages.

Doing the Caye Caulker Shuffle

2008-05-15T11:08:00.009-06:00

I know you all have been waiting for me to post an update. Where are you and what are you doing emails come daily. Long silence from me. Sorry. I've been composing this blog entry for nearly months, but wanted to wait to see all that would unfold.

When I arrived back in Belize at the end of October, Bignesss announced some BIG news. He wanted to sell the beachfront property on Caye Caulker. I kept the news to myself mostly, only sharing it with close friends who weren’t limelighter’s prone to gossip. I stopped announcing my upcoming plans a while ago because it keeps me one step ahead of the bitches and ho’s. It gives them less time to plot and plan against me.

So, I entered high season, not with trepidation, but with the beginning of a plan. No matter how long it takes, this property will sell. It is one of only a few pieces of prime commercial beachfront property available on Caye Caulker. He’s tired of maintaining this gigantic house, which when you add the upstairs to the downstairs is more than 6,000 s.f. The oldtimers are leaving Caye Caulker and leasing out their property or selling up and moving to the mainland away from hurricane threats and the high cost of living on an island.

Here is the shuffle that started last year:
Rasta Pasta’s lease was up, and they moved down the street. The property right across the street from us, which belonged to one of Bigness’s sisters and housed Barrier Reef Sports Bar sold last year and became Agave Restaurant, and the Sports Bar, having lost their place moved into where RP was, totally renovating the space. Smooth moves for everyone.

Supergirl took UNbaby back to the U.S. to start school in September 2007 and got a good job which was only to tide her over until high season started. She decided to stay and go back to college. What can I say, given a choice between serving coffee or becoming a secondary education teacher with a minor in history, I think she made the right choice.

So there I was, property coming up for sale soon and my #1 girl back in the U.S. living her own life. I coped, gave it my all, and the store did great. I hired Shirls with her big smile, to take over some of Supergirl’s duties, and everyone worked a little bit extra. I also did some soul searching and questioned where I was at and what I was doing. Do I want to do this for the rest of my life? Is my life, being a shop keeper on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere? Or is it as a world traveler, traveling around with the love of my life by my side, enjoying seeing new things and meeting new people, showing and selling my art.

In August 2007 we hunkered down for hurricane Dean, and then hurricane Felix slid by in September. I reflected on the fact that I had spent a year turning down shows, because I didn’t have enough time. I knew I had to clear the slate to get more studio time. It’s a daunting task to change direction, to take a risk on doing something new. No guarantees.

So I came back to the U.S. with a purpose, to get a show, and I got 2 shows. The first is at River’s Edge Gallery, voted metro Detroit’s #1 gallery by The Detroit News which opens the 3rd Friday in July, 2008 and runs through August. My work will be featured in July and August and in the front window of the gallery during the Wyandotte Street Art fair. My work isn't on their website yet, but it wll be soon

The second show is in New York City at the Agora Gallery, in the Chelsea district. I was accepted into the Latin American Artists exhibition which opens September 9, with a reception September 11, and it runs through to the end of September.

They reviewed my work and I’m in their upcoming art publication “Artist Spectrum” magazine which has a publication of 50,000 and distribution in NYC.
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“The Detroit born artist, Lee Vanderwalker, now lives and breathes the vibrant culture of Belize, calling upon its history and aesthetic as a foundation for her art. The difficult medium of hand-painted silk, combined with her use of rich, smoldering colors, makes the work vibrate. Each culturally driven scene and image tells a story that is at once derived from the region and universal. Her depictions of village and island life, still-lifes of flowers and window-framed seas, and dream-like figures, masks, and Mayan symbols, come to life with each fold of silk and each vivid texture. Her work is exotic yet comforting, enticing in the way that traveling is or getting lost in a familiar book. These deceptively simple works spring from the complexity of tradition and weave together the deep roots of artistic history. In this world of velvety jungles begging to be explored and Caribbean legends hungry to be told, Vanderwalker's paintings allow the viewer to indulge in the distant adventure we all desire.”
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I thought the review was quite sexy and they didn't just rehash the same old things that have been written about me for 10 years.

The one thing I’ve learned in life is that if opportunity knocks, you better answer the door. On Caye Caulker, most prime retail spaces are never publicly available or advertised, but are known word of mouth and by recommendation. My Belizean friend Eva, the massage therapist made a proposal. She wanted to have a giftshop gallery and sell healing jewelry and art. It fit the bill because I didn’t want to have to manage the day-to-day operations of a store, yet I didn’t want to give up the income. The building she is in, is located next to Madeline’s hardware, and Jan’s Place. So I went for it. Eva expanded her business and became a day spa, moving to the upstairs suite in her building and I helped her open Healing Touch Day Spa and Caribbean Art gallery. The gallery is on the ground floor and does the booking for the day spa. Miss Barbara came with me to the new store, Shirls opened her own coffee shop/cafe next to the Atlantic Bank, so all you coffee addicts (me included) now know where to get the same great brew, at Java House on Middle Streeet. She's open at 6:30 a.m.

As soon as the deal was done, Bigness approached Lloyd from the Sports Bar about taking over my space, and he considered it for about 2 seconds before saying yes. He’s opened a Mexican take away and has my art and prints for sale also. The best part is that I just go one day a week to take care of business. I plan on shooting more weddings in this upcoming year. It looks like I have a knack for it.

Whisper, whisper, whisper, goes the rumour on the street. At first it was funny to hear the rumours, then it just became annoying, so I had to tell my friends: "Stop telling me the crap people are saying." So, to dispell all the rumors, no I didn't shut my store down, no Bigness did not take me out of his building because we are getting a divorce. How could he? I'm Mrs. Bigness and to all the bitches and the hos - don't ever forget that.

Photos: black and white sunsets shot from the roof of the split at Hope and Ken's wedding reception on Caye Caulker

Photo Friday - April 11 - Fragile

2008-04-12T16:47:00.002-06:00

There's a famous saying for what I see when I look at this recent photograph of a wedding at Caye Chapel. I just can't think of it. Check out more Photo Friday submissions.

Photo Friday - April 4 - Far From Home

2008-04-04T06:56:00.005-06:00

We did a house swap in Cozumel over Easter with someone I found on house swapping website. It was our first, and a learning experience. My sole purpose in going to Cozumel was to find a purple Volkswagen Beetle and photograph it. I completed my mission. (no... this is not a photo of where we stayed) I have from time to time been trying to get a swap for at least a year now, off and on, checking in checking back, sending inquiries.

First lesson: never assume anything. The place was in general, clean enough and almost O.K. after Bigness fixed the toilet, which is good in itself, because for at least 1/2 hour he wasn't bored. The place was a bit rusty and dusty. I can say for certain, that they got the better of the deal, but who's complaining, it was free accommodations in place that is usually expensive. The best feature was being 1-1/2 blocks from a giant Chedraui, the Mexican version of Walmart.

Second lesson: If I expect our house to be clean when we arrive back, I need to state that in a note to the swapper, what exactly it is that I expect them to do regarding cleaning up after themselves. Change the bed sheets, take your shoes off before entering the house, sweep and mop, clean the bathroom and kitchen, trash taken to the barrell and not left on the verandah, no taking livingroom or bedroom furniture out onto the verandah, no, no, no. Don't assume that they will leave your house in the same clean state that you have left theirs.

Would I do this again with her? Probably yes. I would be more specific in what I expected though. Life, its a learning experience.

A few days before the vacation, I had stepped wrong while carrying trays of brownies down the beach stairs and to the cafe. Don't worry, I saved the brownies. Its not quite clear yet still what the damage is, initially the right knee was swollen up like a watermelon, and I couldn't put any pressure on it at all. The doctor had to come and attend to me at home. We have a public clinic here on Caye Caulker, staffed by a Cuban doctor, who lives at the clinic. The Cuban Health system is superior to anything I've ever experienced. This doctor is trained from early in his career that he is RESPONSIBLE for the health of his community. HE IS RESPONSIBLE... to take care of us. It is ingrained. Its not about making money because they don't have money there, not like we have here. In Cuba they ahve 1 doctor for every 100 people. He thought it was probably tendons, and probably it is, although its making that weird crackling sound when I move it. If I was in aMerica, it would have been a costly trip to the emergency room for sure. Here, if its after dark, its not an emergency unless you've been shot, stabbed or broken your back. If you break your leg after dark, they put you on a boat (and you pay for it) and off to Belize City you go. If you break your back, they will call in the British Military rescue helicopter. They have to allow 4 hours for the chopper. And for any of you that don't know it already, O.J. from Oceanside Bar is our emergency person for Caye Caulker. Nurse Donna from the clinic is 2nd in charge for calling in the rescue chopper. So, next time you're here, be nice to O.J., because he just might be the man to save your life. So, 3 days bedrest was prescribed and some really nice injections. Its just not possible for me to be layed up in bed for so long unless I'm nauseated and can't sit up. While he was making his house call he took Bigness's blood pressure and reminded him about the low cholesteral diet he was supposed to be on. Bigness said "Uh, huh," and then put down his fried pork chop.

So we started the trip out with a little handicap (me) and knee wrapped. I had to hold onto Bigness as I wobbled and hopped on one leg through Mexican immigration. When checking out of Belize they didn't even make me get out of the car. Fortunately for me, there's a lot to hold onto with Bigness, and his grab handles are well placed. The trip to Cozumel was uneventful, we make the trip to Playa Del Carmen, several times a year. It starts with a car ride to Chetumal, Mexico, leaving the car in the mall parking lot under a light, then a taxi to the bus station, then a 4-1/2 hour bus ride to Playa Del Carmen and then a 45 minute water taxi ride to Cozumel. We arrived late in the evening and gave the address to the cab driver because we didn't reallly know where we were going. 10 minutes later we pulled up, and the key was hidden right where she said it would be, and we let ourselves in. It was midnight.

The next day I was curious about the lady. I didn't poke and pry and sniff around, I just looked at the pictures on the wall, the color choices, the decorating and the photos. This is not CSI Miami. I did not have the magnifying glass and tweezers out.

I made some assumptions:

-She was small and short, the doorways were short, the livingroom furniture was small, and Bigness had to duck through to move from room to room. The doorways are always small in Mexico, Bigness informed me, its dem small people. The lower items were dust free, the higher items were dusty (wrong - she was as tall as me)

-She liked TV, for there was a TV in each bedroom and the livingroom (probably right)

-She was in her early 50s and a widow, lots of dusty silk flower arrangements and kitschy fish knick knacks. (wrong - much younger, and not sure of the marital status)

-She has short hair. I have long hair and shed like bigfoot. Hair in my drain, hair on the brush, hair hair hair everywhere, its a problem. I found no hair anywhere. (wrong - she has long hair)

-She likes wine because I saw 4 wine cork screws in the silverware drawer, and she had an empty wine rack in a cupboard (probably correct)

-She liked men (probably right, because she brought a boyfriend to Belize)

-Her favorite color combination is orange and turquoise (probably right as those were the predominant colors)

-She loves tropical fish, there was an encyclopedia of tropical fish on the stand under the TV, hand-painted fish plates on the table, starfish candles, a framed Matisse print on the wall of a glass bowl on a table with fish. The guest towels in the bathroom were decorated with fish. She had ceramic fish hanging on the walls.

She had a few complaints about us, the sink drain in the kitchen ran slow, which is true, for the past 2 weeks. (its fixed now) The water pressure up and down. True again, that's life living on an island with no municipal water supply, we rely on wells and cisterns. We have a 100 gallon gravity feed reservior on the roof and if the demand is high, the water comes slow. Hey, we're lucky we even HAVE water, its the dry season. Its like everything here in Belize, don't get too upset about it, because if you do, its just going to take longer. Everything is a little bit broken, just like the government.

Illustration Friday - Garden - March 14

2008-03-14T12:48:00.004-06:00

Red hibiscus flower from my friend's garden, hand-painted silk 24" x 24"

Love in the Afternoon

2008-03-14T03:55:00.012-06:00

Caye Chapel, what a lovely place. Located just minutes south of Caye Caulker, you pass it right before you reach Caye Caulker when you arrive via water taxi from Belize City. It always amuses me when the water taxi stops there to drop off workers, and the tourists say in awe and wonder... "Is this Caye Caulker??? WOOOWWWW!!! I didn't know Caye Caulker had a golf course. This looks way better than in the guide books."

Sometimes I quietly tell the person next to me that is it "Ahem... not Caye Caulker, its a private island. $1000 bucks a night here..." But most of the time I keep quiet and count one-onethousand, two-onethousand, three-onethousand, and usually by four-onethousand, the gushing has stilled because they have read the sign that says "Private Island" and have seen the security guards.

It is self contained with its own power plant, water plant, a golf course, club house, swimming pool, bar, restaurant, little mansions on the east side and casitas on the west side, plus a deep water marina for you to put your yacht in. Caye Caulker - I WISH!

(The young Belizean man in the foreground was an amazing and accomplished saxaphone player. For someone so young, he knew all the old sexy, slowdance, kiss me on the neck and hug me up songs. I was IMPRESSED)

I was surprised and pleased when I got the request for information on wedding photography. So I quickly sent them the link to my flickr photography site which I recently upgraded to a Pro account. If this all sounds like the lead in to a shameless infomercial, it IS. I would like to do more wedding photography.
So, I put on my "good clothes" and tried to not get dirty. It was difficult though, because the weather had turned what we like to call "cold" which means temperatures under 75 degrees F, and hard breeze from the west, so the water taxi dropping me off had to go on the east side of the island. On arrival, I literally slung my equipment UP onto the peir and crawled out of the boat as Harrison grabbed me and pulled me steady.

Those embarrassing moments are best met with humour, so I turned around and gave a curtsey and announced "Well that was fun" to the departing water taxi. I got a little bit of applause and cheers, plus some open mouth stares. Alway remember the rule your mother told you about wearing clean underwear, you never can tell who will be looking. I brushed myself off and checked for bird poop and walked to the golf cart and cold bottle of water waiting for me.

So my first wedding shoot there went pretty well, even though the photographer was more nervous than the bride, as usual. I've learned to accept it, I think it gives me my edge, which with art we all need our edge. The couple and their friends were so nice, and the staff at Caye Chapel, helpful and attentive.

I spent my conscious thoughts on trying not to sweat or hyperventilate, the shooting was easy, the conditions perfect. The weather gave us a break for a while. It was cool enough that the groom was able to wear his Scottish kilt and whole getup including daggar in his woolen socks and real brogue shoes. The bride was barefoot, of course.

Less work for me, I was thinking, as I did not have to scour the beach looking for stray trash that might interfere with the photos, or have to be airbrushed out later, the beaches are raked clean from dawn each day. I also didn't have to shoo any dogs out of the pictures, or quietly shoosh local children, but that is the charm of Caye Caulker. My thoughts strayed to the wedding months back where UNBaby (in her blue bathing suit) held the lace train still from the breeze, for a bride who was wearing a vintage 1970s dress from her mother in law while I photographed them sitting on the little rough bench in front of Tia Ilna's house. And now UNBaby is in school in aMerica, wearing shoes every day.

We put the FUN in the word FUNKY. The dogs, the drunks, bicycles, the kids, the rastas, the seagrass, the split, that is WHO WE ARE.

The Devil is in the Details

2008-02-27T13:09:00.012-06:00

I always miss out on all the fun. Miss Barbara informs me the new Prime Minister for Belize, the Honourable Dean Barrow was in the store for a few moments after giving his speech taking a turn about town, getting to know Caye Caulker. I think I’m safe in saying that we hadn't seen hardly any major politicians on Isla Carinosa, until election time. Years pass and if we’re lucky the government ignores us.

“What would you do if the Dean Barrow wants to stay in the Beach House?” I asked Bigness.

“Charge him double” he answered, a fomer hardback PUP supporter, (now claiming to be "None of them P's) and continued to grumble about government this and government that.

“Hey, you don’t understand government interference until you’ve lived in the U.S.” I try and explain to him the chokehold that taxes have on the American people. But he doesn’t want to listen. He longs for the old days when Caye Caulker was just a village of 100, with picados between the houses, no roads, no electricity or tourists, no engines on boats. Just sailboats and lobsterfishing. And poverty. The good ole bad ole days. The oldtimers are leaving, selling up, leasing out their property and moving inland to the Belmopan area.

A rare site, a helicopter buzzes up and down the island a couple of time around 10 a.m.
“Is that the BDF?” I ask Bigness
“Does the BDF have a helicopter?” Bigness answers a question with a question.

I figured the Prime Minister would stop by to say Hi. The gallery is not easy to miss, centrally located between the beach and the street, just over from the central park and basketball court, next to the police station and right next to the most photographed sign on Caye Caulker “Drugs are Illegal in Belize”

The afternoon that the Honourable Dean Barrow, Prime Minister for Belize, came to Caye Caulker, I was fighting my way out of the village to get to a wedding to photograph the Costarican/Ecuadorian Latina (gorgeous) bride.

As I was leaving, he was arriving and the village was in lockdown, all the police serious, dressed up in their best uniforms sharply creased, nobody running jokes.

“Nobody to pass tru.” the police lady said
“But I’m your neighbor” I reminded her as she took a second hard look at me, gave a little laugh of recognition, and motioned me to pass.

I have never seen so much traffic on Caye Caulker. Bicycles, golf carts, gawkers and walkers.

It looked like San Pedro.

As I headed out of town I focused my attention on what would be the best way to get to this remote location south and west of the airstrip, off the grid. Driving, biking or walking the orchid trail which snakes around the southern point of Caye Caulker is like an episode of survivor. There is no way the motorcycle would make it over the rickety bridge through a particularly swampy area. I couldn’t walk it with a 50 lb backpack of photographic equipment and laptop. Riding down the airstrip is out of question, at least for me, until after dark when no planes land. So the only solution for me and the motorbike was to cut through the Puest del Sol area and Pelican Point subdivision and hope that there would be someone there to help me heist the bike onto the less rickety bridge to cross. Step careful, pay attention, don’t look down, I told myself. Don’t be nervous. Midbridge I remembered lovingly the Pelican waterproof camera case I lusted over on Amazon.com. Calm yourself. Did I remember to take my pill? Look at those toes, girl you need a pedicure. Eyes back to the front, keep moving that motorcycle. Focus on getting there.

I defied death once again.

I was only 15 minutes late even with waiting for help to cross, and taking Island Time into consideration, that’s not bad. It was o.k. since the bride had a clay mask on her face and the hairdresser was still doing some serious work to her nearly waist length hair. The bride was trying her best to adjust to Island Time, and to remember the sign that said “Go Slow”

You see, if you go slow, you don’t sweat so much.

The guests arrived by boat, and next time, I’ll consider doing that too. I’m not into extreme sports. I would come in a row boat.

The wedding was at the Yoga Center, located off the grid in the quietest most serene part of southern Caye Caulker. My friend Sallytheyogateacher (hereafter referred to as Sally) and Sallyshusbandjohn (hereafter referred to as John) started this project several years ago. And now they are living the dream. Built bit by bit on frequent trips to Caye Caulker over the years, the center opened for its first season last year. Its so quiet, all you can hear is the breeze.

The wedding was a first for them (family wedding, good to practice on) and I can see how this facility could become an amazing conference center, that is, if they can stand the interference in their lives. Tough call. They now spend winters on Caye Caulker and Spring/Summer/Fall in Maine. Having the best of both worlds didn’t come cheap, fast or easy. They thought out this project way before the first shovel hit the sand. How do you live off the grid with solar power, generator, rain water cisterns, and not pollute the environment? They are doing it, living simply, creating the least amount of garbage as possible, yet still having some creature comforts.

I left late, after the cake was cut, the bouquet and garter thrown. My job was done They partyied on until late, the DJ thump thump thumpin, booties shakin their bon bon. I picked my way down the trail to the airstrip and then let’er rip. I got up to 30 mph on the way home.

So, next time you’re here between the months of January and May, check them out. If walking or biking, take the beach path south until it looks like it ends, then turn right onto the orchid trail. Make sure you bring water and slather on the bug repellant. With walking over the rough spots and riding slowly the rest, it should take you about 20-30 minutes from the village. Or you can take my route through the Puesta Del Sol area by going down Back Back Street until you get to the lane just before the airstrip. Take it right and just keep bearing left until you see the barge, the bridge and the gas pumps for boats. The bridge has a gate at each end, and there’s usually an attendant to help you. If not, make sure you close the gates after crossing. After crossing you’ll see the trail head ahead of you. Cross the airstrip (look both ways for landing planes) and look to your right. Just head down it and you’ll see it. If not, at least you’re in the neighborhood and can do a shout out. They are the only John and Sallytheyogateacher on Caye Caulker.

Photo Friday - Art - February 22

2008-02-24T17:40:00.004-06:00

My studio, where all the magic happens. Dig the authentic Cool Whip container. We've got lotsa those.

Check out more Photo Friday entries.

Moonlight on the Water, Caye Caulker, Belize

2008-02-21T12:17:00.008-06:00

The new camera body arrived with the next bride. After breaking the shutter on the camera I have been using for the last 2 years, I rushed to order a new camera body from Amazon, first consulting with my BFF Mr. Wizard to make sure it was going to fit my lenses, etc. etc, (eyes rolling back into my head, and I'm slipping into a coma from all the technospeak that went on) Long distance mistakes cost you the most. Ordering the wrong size, wrong model, things not fitting, things not working, all the pitfalls of ordering online, multipy by 10, when you are not in aMerica and not able to return anything.

As luck would have it, everything fit, everything arrived to the coming bride, with a day to spare, no hitches or glitches and I'm back in biz. Wiser.

I purchased the Canon 40D 10.1 megapixel and all my Canon and Sigma lenses fit and work. So, now its practice, practice, practice. Last night's eclipse shots didn't turn out so well even using a tripod stand, the breeze was blowing so strong that it was buffeting the camera and shaking it. But the full moon shots have a mysterious eerie look that I like, and of course, the last moonlight shot was enhanced in Photoshop. Either that, or some aliens were landing on the cruise ship gliding by just beyond the reef and I just happened to capture the event. Your choice. I like the alien story better its more dramatical.

You Never Know Who You Will Meet

2008-02-18T13:48:00.002-06:00

The package arrived just in time. I had been relegated to reading last chapter first back-to-front of the books we had left, just to make them interesting. All the good reads had been read, sold and traded away and I saw nothing interesting coming through the door. I check my post office box every couple of weeks, whenever I remember, so when I saw the notice of a parcel it meant one thing. The package of previously read New Yorkers had arrived, fresh from MBs coffee table. No duty on used books, it is supposed to be, but sometimes the government gets greedy and charges duty on postage. A tax on a tax. No duty on this package, I got off Scotch free, like the tape, clear and sticky. Raschell, the new postmistress, smiling as always, was happy to give me the package and to announce no duty due. I can’t believe how grown up she is now, all behaving like a lady. I remember when she was in the competition for Miss Lobsterfest, the beauty pageant which kicks off the season. I rooted for her, and she should have won, but you know how things go on a small Spanish island.

I wanted to rip open the package right there and lay down in the warm sand to read, but I didn’t. Instead, I put it in the bright blue bubble carrier on the back of the motorscooter and pretended I was out getting my exercise as I rode back to the house on the beach. Good literature is a bargainable commodity here and I savor each issue, keeping a small stash of them here and there, strategic spots hidden in the house. Bigness has learned the hard way about what happens when he disposes of my shredded poured over literature. I only bringing into the store what I can “afford” to lose. I tear through the fiction, then read the book and art reviews before reading any non-political story. Sorry, John McCain, I skip right over you. I’ve come to realize that most art in New York looks like vomit on canvas reflecting the feelings of aMerica. You can see these things from afar. I read the sardonic descriptions and wonder, who would want to look at that? When Bigness sees the package from MB, he knows the Do Not Disturb sign is hanging from my brain.

Miss Barbara brings in her old Vanity Fair subscription magazines, months old but fresh to me. For she has figured out how to order these things from abroad, a 14 year veteran of exile. Between coffee customers, Shirls and I pour over the pages of fashion, accessories and perfume ads, scratch and sniff, and marvel at dresses for $1000 that look like torn garbage bags and packing tape. Maybe next year fringe on the bottom of your terry cloth Capri pants will be the rage and I’ll have been ahead of my time once again. Michael Kors, don’t copy me, you hear?

I ask advice from Shirls on how I should wear my hair at an upcoming art show in aMerica. She advises to leave it as it is, just brush it straight. I want braids down my back with shells sewn into the ends. I say this to provoke her. She rolls her eyes and sucks her teeth, and I say Don’t you like the White Girl thinks she’s black look? She reminds me to please touch up those roots and I raise my hand self consciously to my hairline. She chuckles and its payment for jinxing her.

Guess who I met today and didn’t know it? That is, until I actually read her business card…, and then googled her. Don’t ya love google? Eve Brown-Waite

Which Barbara Are We Talking About?

2008-02-13T05:45:00.005-06:00

Let's just get this straight...

Miss Barbara works evenings in the art gallery.
Barbara wire is what we are putting on top of the fence that surrounds the little house on the mainland to deter another break in.
Bigness's favorite Barbara is in Belmopan, the Spanish boy at the bus station peels his head nice.

What is a peeled head you ask? In aMerica it is known as a brush cut. Its not bad looking on him and being a man of 63, he certainly has a lot of fast growing hair to control. The only problem wtih the Spanish boy is he works when he wants. Sometimes Bigness will get frustrated , driving all the way to Belmopan and the boy isn't there in his little shed next to the bus station, cutting piles of hair, so he comes home and takes the clipper to his head himself. When I hear the sound of buzz buzz buzz coming from the bathroom, I refuse to get involved. I don't want to take the blame, and I don't want to accidently shave his initials into the back of his head.

The above terms are not to be confused with Baba which is what runs from your nose mixed with eyewata. It is also the swill you get at the bottom of a coke bottle when you share your drink.

If you need translation help, let me know because sometimes I actually understand what Bigness is saying.

Note: you will not find these terms in babelfish.

The People Have Spoken

2008-02-08T05:40:00.000-06:00

Its a new day in Belize. Its 6 a.m. and unofficial reports have said that the UDP has swept the general election 2 to 1. This is getting interesting. The people I spoke to were ready for a change, any change. And although they were skeptical that Dean Barrow can do the job, they felt they could no longer deal with the Musa administration anymore and needed a break from secret contracts, missing money, cronyism, graft and corruption. Hard core PUP supporters either didn't show up to vote, or voted their discontent, leaving in office only a few of the old crowd. This is not unique to Belize with 4 landslide elections in their short history of democracy. People all over the world want a government that makes them feel safe within their borders, protected along with their assets, see that they restrain evil and that justice is done, and in return not feel their pockets emptied on the 15th of each month.

The government has changed without a single bullet fired.

Belize is divided into 31 areas with a representative for each. Out of 31 areas, 6 went to the PUP and 25 went to the UDP. There is no seperate election for Prime Minister. Whichever party wins the majority of areas, their party leader becomes Prime Minister. When the party changes, the portfolios all change and the losing party has to hand over all the ministerial positions. So, we will be seeing a new Minister of Tourism, Defence, Lands, Finance, Health, Education, etc. PUP representatives who were elected again are Cordell Hyde, Mark Espat, Francis Fonseca, Said Musa, Florencio Marin Jr. and Johnney Bricenio. Rumors have it that the PUP will be changing party leader and not be giving the title to Said Musa.

Manuel Heredia, the UDP representative for Caye Caulker, was relected. One of the biggest upsets is Ralph Fonseca, the now former Minister of Finance (where is the money?), and the area representative for where we have our house on the mainland, was voted out of office by Hutchenson, just a regular guy. David defeated Goliath.

Caye Caulker was quiet on election day. No campaigning or loud speakers were allowed near the polling sites. By law there were no liquor sales until after the polls closed at 6 p.m. The day was off and on sprinkling rain, a cold front stood stationary over the northern coastal areas. Two thirds of the registered voters on Caye Caulker turned out to vote. The Belize Defence Force was here to oversee the election and when the polls closed took the ballot boxes on their boat, each party representative, along with the representative from Elections and Boundaries, to Belize City to be counted. Bigness stayed up most of the night watching Channel 7 News and Krem Radio like he was on a hurricane watch. I woke up from time to time asking what was going on as they annnouned updates on the vote counting. The village is waking up now with a lot of hooting and hollering, drunks that started at 6 p.m. last night are headed home to sleep it off.

For me, its time to make the coffee.

Super Thursday Coming Up, Politics... Schmolotics!

2008-02-06T06:14:00.000-06:00

Today is Wednesday, tomorrow (Feb 7) is general election day in Belize. I haven't written about it before because mostly I don't care.

The other day I opened the San Pedro Sun newspaper up and saw my sister-in-law Miss Ophelia center stage photo on a full page PUP advertisement for Mel Spain, who is running for area representative Belize Rural South, which is the district that Caye Caulker is in. Nice photo of Miss Feli, I kept the ad.

Business has been a little bit slow all over Caye Caulker these last few weeks, so the idle chat and discussion has inevitably turned to politics between Shirls and me. Shirls is the daytime DJ and barista for the store. I can tell the weather before I even get out of bed in the morning because she plays Norah Jones when its raining. She's a CNN watcher and I've done my best to explain American politics, the house and the senate, what a primary election is, what the electoral college is (who knows?) recalling 7th grade American history class and 11th grade government class (which I wasn't paying attention in anyway).

She won't admit what party she's supporting for Prime Minister, but her favorites for area representative are mostly UDP, where mine are mostly PUP. Her choices are on what the area representative has done for the people, my choices tend to be how handsome the candidate is, and how well I like his voice. Francis Fonseca (swoon), Cordell Hyde (hot flash), Godfrey Smith (blush), and Mark Espat (o.k. he's not as cute as the others, but I like him anyway) I don't mind seeing Said Musa as the prime minister, because he has a full head of hair, but he's SO SHORT. Dean Barrow (the opposition candidate for PM) is bald with a head so shiney you could see your reflection in it, and when you mute the TV (as I usually do when they are talking politics) his gestures look like he's trying to imitate the Pope.

I am not politically minded, but here is Lee's Quickstart Political Guide for foreigners. Any Belizean reading this post should feel to correct me in the comments area as I am not educated on these things. These are my observations and point of view. At the end of the day none of it matters anyway because they are all corrupt. Governments are all corrupt, power corrupts because people are basically greedy. I say people get into politics because they don't want to get a real job.

Belize has no term limits. The Prime Minister could be relected again and again and again. And like any system that has no term limits and does not have an elected senate, they just get better and better at hiding the money.

Four parties are running.

The PUP (blue) is currently in power both the Prime Minister Said Musa, and the majority of the senate, plus most area representatives are PUP. If I had to compare this party to a U.S. political party I would say they are like the Republicans. The PUP is being supported by Hugo Chavez (the devil according to some Americans) from Venezuela, and is also being supported by the U.S. government. The U.S. ambassador was here on Caye Caulker the other day to attend the ground breaking for the new water treatment plant on Caye Caulker. And if that's not campaigning, I don't know what is.

The UDP (red) is the main opposition for Prime Minister. Dean Barrow (a lawyer)Belize City
is running for the office of Prime Minister. Belize City went through quite an upset a few years ago when Ms. Zenaida Moya a young Belizean Woman with her master's degree from The University of Detroit won the office of Mayoress, and the whole political dynamic from PUP to UDP. Zenaida Moya is NOT AFRAID TO TELL YOU OFF! I kinda like her, she has nice hair. If I had to compare this party to a U.S. political party, I would say they are like the Democrats.

The NRP (orange) is a new party with a Mennonite running for Prime Minister.

The VIP (not sure what color, let's just make them green)

Signs of the Times
The atmosphere is heating up with political rallies selling 3 dolla beers, giving away t-shirts, umbrellas, slogans painted on telephone poles, hand painted signs in front yards. In the last few weeks I've been up the Northern Highway all the way to Corozal. and I've been out the Western Highway as far as San Ignacio. If signs are the judge of things, all those little villages in the north are hardback PUP, and all the villages from Belmopan to the western border are UDP. And of course, the south is always red. The funniest sign I read was posted way high up in someone's roadside mango tree and read "UDP would sell dey mother" Trees painted blue with a white X on them, telephone poles with red swaths of paint marking territory. Up and down, red, blue, red, blue. Red t-shirts, blue umbrellas, red signs, blue billboards.

As for our own area representative, Manuel Heredia (UDP) . I can see that he's a man who works hard for San Pedro. Too bad he's forgotten about little Caye Caulker over here struggling just to maintain, struggling to keep our nose above water. In Belize, they call the non-elected party member for an area, the Standard Bearer. Mel Spain is the PUP standard bearer for Belize Rural South, and it looks like she could do something for Caye Caulker, but I think the people of San Pedro aren't disillusioned with Manuel Heredia yet. If Mel Spain isn't elected as area representative, she will still be working with the government representing the PUP.

My Prediction for Friday Morning:
There is no clear winner for me. Its a toss up. Will there be voter fraud? Probably. We just might need U.N. Peacekeeping forces here.

Although everyone is tired of the present administration, I don't believe Belize is ready for Dean Barrow to be Prime Minister. I'm putting into written words what I'm hearing from people on the street. They are ready for a change. If the UDP had a Spanish candidate then it would be a sure victory.

If the PUP loses the election for prime minister, they will bow out gracefully, covering their asses nicely on the way out. With a changeover in government they will be so disorganized, that for about a year they leave us alone and stop harrass.

If the UDP loses the election we better prepare for a little civil war. Remember the little civil war we went through in May of 2004 when the UDP incited a general strike? The teachers were on strike, the telecommunications strike which cut off all land lines, cell phones, no internet (unless you have a satellite dish), the riots in Belmopan between warring political parties, the BDF and Special Unit for crowd control and to quell the riot. Cousin against cousin in this country of cousins. A few people will get shot and everyone will back off again. Things got VERY quiet on Caye Caulker for a long time with no phone, no way to process credit cards, no way for the tourists to get cash advances on their plastic, flights delayed or postponed because of civil unrest, tourists fleeing like a hurricane is bearing down on them, and NOT COMING BACK.

Simple equation for Belize: no tourists = no money

Which color are you and why?

Three Words I Never Like to Say on Your Wedding Day

2008-02-04T16:16:00.000-06:00

Cold. Dismal. Bleak. = RAIN

Rain = BAD PHOTOS

It all started with a phone call to Mr. Wizard who is my BFF, and his wife is my substitute mother. I love playing trivia with them on my team, we always win. ALWAYS.

Back to the camera. You see, I was getting a little crackling looking thing on the edge of my pictures. Sometimes you could see it, sometimes you couldn’t. So I called Mr. Wizard. I had taken the lens off, checked it, nothing there, checked the interior mirrors, looked clear, and knew I had to look deeper.

Mr. Wizard said it was probably the camera sensor which needed to be cleaned. It was quite the delicate job, and you had to be VEEERRRYYY CAAARRREEEFFFUULL (I know when he slows his speech down for me, that I need to listen closely) He would be happy to clean it for me, if I wanted to bring it over.

No thanks, I said, I think I can do it. (mistake #1)

Ooooo. Kaaaaaaay he said slowly. Everyone has a retarded friend who you help to do what you think are the most basic things. I am his retarded friend.

I opened the camera, gently flipped back the mirror like he said and opened the shutter. The little fuzz wouldn’t move, so I blew on it. (mistake #2)

Those of you cameraphiles have now just taken in a big gasp of air, because you KNOW what I just did.

Later I looked it up in the manual and it says there in big bold words… DO NOT BLOW ON THE SENSOR BECAUSE YOU CAN DAMAGE THE SHUTTER.

In addition to getting spit on the sensor, the force of my little (big) puff of air was that I had damaged one of the very thin delicate shutter louvers ($180 U.S. to repair it… in the U.S.)

This is at 11 a.m. and I’m shooting a wedding at 2 p.m.

5 minutes later I call him back…

Mr Wizard: are you calling me back to tell me that you broke your camera?
Me: uuhhh
Mr. Wizard: tee hee (he never says I Told You SO, he just laughs at me)
Me: uuhhh, yeah.
Mr. Wizard: do you need to borrow a camera?
Me: If I could…
Mr. Wizard: cmon out.

So, I hop on the motorbike and head out. They live way to the back, on the sunset side in a very quiet neighborhood of retired Belizeans and expats who have built their island retirements homes.

On the way it starts to drizzle.

G R E A T

These poor (not really poor) people from America have been planning this wedding for 6 months, brought 40 family members with them. In U.S. standards a wedding with 40 people is small, for Caye Caulker standards this is big news.

Sinking feeling segues into icky in the bottom of your stomach.
“We’ll see, we’ll see,” I say to myself
“Just wait, just wait, you never know how things will turn out.” I sooth my feelings.

I arrive at Mr. Wizard’s house. He has the camera ready, and goes over the basic functions with me. I try not to be confused as he puts it into a Pelican case (with the quick start guide). And truth be told, it’s a much (way) fancier camera than my Canon EOS, it’s a Nikon something or other. I shot a wedding at their house under the 4th floor palapa rooftop a couple of years ago for them, so I’ve used the camera. That familiarization lesson seems a century ago.

I feel my pressure up as I put the pelican case into the back blue bubble looking carrier on the motorcycle.

And then it starts to P O U R.

I decide to stop at the bride’s accommodations, its two hours before the beach portraits are going to start and they aren’t going to be done today. I always leave room to reschedule the beach portraits which usually happen before the ceremony. I get to the bride’s house and she informs me with a cheerful spirit that the big sailboat that we were supposed to go on a sunset cruise after the ceremony has engine trouble and that has been cancelled also. I don’t want to tell her that my camera broke and I’ve borrowed a camera from Mr. Wizard, but somehow I blurt it out… and I feel better.

She takes it in stride, “That’s cool.” she says, “I know the pictures will look nice.”

(and I think to myself… not nice in the rain... no amount of Photoshop will be able to fix this... and I want to cry)

I head off on the motorbike taking the circumspect route of driving around giant craters temporarily filled with muddy coral sand water on airstrip road and cut over to the beach path as soon as I can get clear. I ride gently as I don't want to risk having the borrowed camera flip out of the blue carrier bubble.

I lay down on the bed at home.
No TV, no CD player blasting, windows and doors closed.
Must. Need. Quiet.
I hate being more nervous than the bride.

The ceremony starts at 4 p.m., the wind is whipping.

The rain lets up and the sun comes out for about 5 minutes. Long enough to do the ceremony shot completely with a flash, a first for me, fumbling for settings and jockeying for position amongst the guests with cameras (Oh. The. Horror). Cold. Lifeless. Nothing I can do. I can not stop the rain coming quickly and blotting out the sun.

The reception (at the Rainbow) had a lot of special touches, an attention to details that we often skip here on Caye Caulker. Real cloth tablecloths and napkins, deep turquoise glasses for drinking champagne, light turquoise sheer runners down the middle of each table, light and fresh. Little gift boxes at each place setting filled with French chocolates, low votive candles, orchids, a program tucked into a napkin. Simple, clean and elegant.

After dinner a slide show is projected from a Mac laptop onto a sheet tacked to the wall. Baby pictures, awkward adolescence, graduations, moms and dads. Its really touching to be a stranger in the midst of friends, like a voyeur into their life.

After the slide show it was time to get on down and boogie like John Travolta. They have loaded all their favorite tracks onto an ipod and hooked it up to the Rainbow's stereo system, and it works flawless.

I left at 10 p.m., out of shots, tired, cold and wet. I spent the next day in bed. Achy, trying not to get sick.

Every day for the next 4 days we check the satellite. Every day, every day, all day rain. I know I can’t deliver cold lifeless photos or I’ll need to refund back some of their money. The internet is a tool and a weapon. One bad recommendation and it could finish you here in such a small place. I love and fear the internet.

The morning of the day they were to leave, the weather cleared and we did it! Crisp clear sparkly pictures. An hour on the beach netted 20 ooo-sha-boo-boo lalalalalalala pictures.

Phew!

Dontcha Wish You were Here?

2008-02-04T15:24:00.000-06:00

Superbowl in Belize

Superbowl Sunday at the Barrier Reef Sports Bar here on Caye Caulker with 6 big TVs going and one giant screen.

The girls at the bar serving up the coldest damn draft on the island

Lloyd, the local book maker doing the squares thingy

And what tailgate party is complete without the cute boy and the drinking contest.

Weather Report

2008-01-19T21:47:00.000-06:00

I think Nelly said it best:

Hot in.....So hot in heerre.....So hot in.....
Oh Wan' a lil bit of uh uh and a lil bit of.

Its gettin hot in here (so hot)
So take off all your clothes (eh)
(Background voice: uh uh uh uh uh) I am gettin to hot, I wanna take my clothes off(repeat)
----------------------------------------------------------------

I ask myself this question: if you're wondering... this is Lee and not more lyrics to the Nelly song.

I ask myself this question: is it hot in here or is it a hot flash?

Its hot in here.

The tourists are loving it, no rain for days....

I'm photographing a wedding tomorrow and no chance of rain.

What's a Girl to do?

2008-01-19T21:15:00.000-06:00

An evening out visiting with the ladies in Belmopan. We enjoyed a medium size bottle of rum split between 6 girls, just enough liquor to loosen the tongues. The men went outside to talk about whatever it is men talk about. Cars, motorcycles, engines, beer and pretty gials. They enjoyed a GALLON of rum split between 4.

The ladies however, got right down to business, we talked about our men and how we punish them, err, I mean torture. Well, not really torture, that’s such a negative word with far reaching complications. What I mean is, we each answered the universal question: “How do YOU get your man to mind?”

Many of the ladies I had just met, so I kept quiet while I developed the gut ache you only get from laughing and laughing. Tales of hidden shoes - only the left, hidden wallets, hidden teeth, hidden keys, locking them out, locking them in.

I silently reviewed my choices and realized that none of those techniques would have any effect on Bigness. You see, I am married to a man who doesn’t care what you think about him. If I hid his shoes, he would walk barefoot. If I hid his teeth he would go out gums all aflapping. If I hid the keys there is always the bus, or here on Caye Caulker, no one needs a car anyway. If I hid his wallet, there’s the Sports Bar right downstairs, and a open tab for the landlord. If I locked him out, he would just shake the house until I let him in. If I locked him in, you would see a remake of the Incredible Hulk bursting through a wall, complete with sound effects. After all, he’s a builder and can fix it tomorrow.

So what’s a girl to do? I discovered this quite accidently. CARB OVERLOAD. Pasta, rice, bread, pizza, keeps him sleepy… all the time and out of trouble. Rich desserts. He thinks I'm being a good wife AS HIS EYES ROLL TO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD AND HE SETTLES IN FOR A 2 HOUR SIESTA, shhhh, don't tell him. PROMISE ME YOU WON'T TELL HIM, pinky swear it. I’ve also found that a slight case of food poisoning keeps him at home, but that’s not so fun for me. Ooooooffffff!

One thing I noticed is that none of the ladies used SEX to keep their man home, or at least they weren’t talking about it.

So ladies, here’s a question… how do you keep your man at home? DISCUSS.

And men, if you have any good ideas, SHARE.

Miss Manners Says....

2008-01-09T11:18:00.000-06:00

...don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Miss Lee says... timing is everything and with the general election less than 1 month away...
well, you've got my vote if you can get clean water to Caye Caulker, that is, if I could vote.

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Government of Belize Press Release:

Government and BWSL Sign Agreement to Construct a New Water System in Caye CaulkerBelmopan - 08 January, 2008Prime Minister of Belize and Minister of National Development, Rt. Hon. Said Musa, and Chairman of the Board of Directors for Belize Water Services Ltd. (BWSL), Mr. Norris Hall, today signed an agreement to install a new water system in the village of Caye Caulker. Under the agreement, Government will provide $ 1.75 million while BWSL will provide $ 608,000 to fund the new system which is estimated to cost $ 2.3 million. The scope of the project includes the purchase and installation of a 500 cubic meter reverse osmosis plant, the construction of a 100,000 gallons ferro concrete storage tank, 7.5 miles of PVC distribution and main lines, 500 service connections with meters, two sea water supply wells and one brine disposal well, along with the power supply, standby generator, pumps, controls and other accessories. The project will also fund the supply and installation of an underwater crossing to ensure that water is accessible to the north side of the island. Apart from designing and contributing financially to the system, BWSL will implement the field work, and manage the Caye Caulker water system when it is completed. Over 1500 residents and the numerous tourists who visit Caye Caulker will benefit from this project which will ensure that the village has reliable access to potable water. The new reverse osmosis system will replace the existing system that provides water from a shallow well, but which can only be used for washing and bathing due to contamination of the ground water well that is currently used. The provision of potable water to Caye Caulker is evidence of Government’s support for the continued development of the tourism industry as Caye Caulker is a growing destination for tourists. This decision is also in line with Government’s National Poverty Elimination Strategy and Action Plan 2007–2011 which aims to increase the percentage of Belizeans with access to piped and potable water from 89 % at present to 100 % by 2015. Work is expected to begin immediately with the ordering of the reverse osmosis plant, and the whole system will be completed within 15 months. Additional information about the Caye Caulker Water Project can be obtained from the Ministry of National Development at 822-2526/2527 or from BWSL at 202-0128/0376.

No One Ever Expects The Spanish Inquisition

2008-01-08T17:08:00.000-06:00

The call came in at 7:15 a.m.

You know for yourself when the phone rings late or early, its never good news.

Policeman: Mr. Bigness needs to get to your property on the mainland right away, there's been a break in.

Bigness missed the 7:30 boat by minutes and had to wait until 8:30 a.m. to get off Caye Caulker.

It takes me about 3 times through to get the story straight, so here's the straightened version.

So, let's back up 3 weeks. Just before Christmas, the house was robbed while Bigness was taking a siesta midday. I was on Caye Caulker and got a weird feeling so I called him, woke him up, and what we didn't know at that moment was that someone was in the house. They had gotten up to the room just before the bedroom that Bigness was sleeping in. The call scared them off, as it roused him from a deep carb induced sleep. They went with what they could carry quickly, a blender which worked on only 1 speed, a pair of "fake" diamond earrings, the weed whacker, a dvd player but not the remote or the cables, a saw and a drill. But they got a good look at the collection of electronics that Bigness has collected over the years. Nice TV (we only get 1 local station... sometimes), nice stereo, nice nice things. The house is like a fortress, we have burglar bars on all the windows, strong burglar bar screen doors and steel inner doors. Bigness had fallen asleep with the lock flipped on the burglar bar door, but didn't have the deadbolt lock on, and the steel door was open. Its broad daylight. Who would bother you in broad daylight?

Mistake #1 The crime wasn't reported to the police.

On a closer inspection we could see where someone had attempted to unscrew the burglar bars on one of the bedroom windows, near a large leafy bush they were using for cover. So, Bigness chopped down all the bushes near the house and installed two additional exterior lights.

Fast forward to December 28, the call came in at 7:15 a.m. The policeman was calling from our front verandah, guarding the house so that it wouldn't be looted in his absence. A few minutes before a neighbor heard a ruckus, saw what was happening. There are only 2 policemen to guard an area with at least 350 homes over a several sqare mile area. He had to come on foot because they have no cars to patrol. He came with his gun, just in time to get a good description of the car that was driving away. The smart man that he is, called the police stations in either direction (east and west) and reported the theft, and description of the car. There is only 1 main road between Belize City and San Ignacio. The theives headed toward Belize City and 15 minutes later were caught in Hattieville at a road block. Bigness makes a quick call to family in Belmopan who rush the 20 miles over to the house to relieve the policeman. Its frustrating to be stuck on an island.

By the time Bigness got off the island and to the mainland, they had caught the 3 little career criminals. He paid a visit to them at the Hattieville police station, not one of which was over the age of 20.

All that was left was to clean up the mess. The robbers had taken a big chain, hooked it through the burglar bar door at one end, and hooked it to the bumper of their car and pulled the massive door off, then pryed the metal door open with a crow bar.

They left me a gift in the front yard. The 3 spare tires they had been carrying in their trunk.
Maybe I'll make hillbilly planters out of them. Remember the thing about making lemonaid out of lemons...

He called me later to give me the rundown on damage... and exclaimed that those suckers (read it with an F) had srayed big gobs of paint on the ceiling of my studio... and I sheepishly had to explain that I did that the last time I was working... some paint got stuck in a squeeze bottle and you can guess the rest... splat.

Interesting factoid: NO ART WAS STOLEN.

The arraignment was on Monday, Dec 31, where they plead NOT GUILTY, so the trial is set for some time in February or March. The robbers were immediately remanded to Hattieville Prison with no bail.

I'll keep you posted.

What the Heck?

2008-01-07T11:09:00.000-06:00

People, you better make up your minds fast because the Prime Minister of Belize, Said Musa has just announced this morning that the general election is set for Feb 7.

Read the press release below
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Prime Minister Musa sets General Election Date
Belmopan - 07 January, 2008
The Prime Minister, Rt. Hon. Said Musa and members of his Cabinet met this morning at the Princess Hotel and Casino with members of the clergy for a breakfast meeting.During the meeting, which was attended by a majority of Belize’s clergy, the Prime Minister announced that he will advise the Governor-General to dissolve the National Assembly today and set Thursday, February 7th as Election Day.The Prime Minister also announced that on that same day, Belizean voters will participate in a referendum which will be on a separate ballot on the question whether Belize should have an elected senate.The Prime Minister said that he was honoured that the clergy had come out in support and he asked them to pray for peace during the campaign period.

Twas Two Nights Before Christmas

2007-12-23T18:51:00.000-06:00

...and the tourists magically appeared.
Santa wore a blue suit (sorry no pictures).
And the joint was jumpin, not a moment too soon.
We're ready, we have more purified water in stock in 5 gallon containers than most grocery stores, we won't get water delivery again until Thursday.
Bigness did the shopping and Cousin Rose is going to do the cooking.

The Learning Curve

2007-12-21T10:49:00.000-06:00

I like to write my own stuff, but when Supergirl sent me this, I thought, I couldn't have said it better.

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.
I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
And the real pains in the ass are permanent.

Funniest Thing I've Heard All Day

2007-12-20T13:15:00.000-06:00

The new CD from SuperG playing on Reef Radio in San Pedro
The lyrics in the chorus sound like this...

White mon pay de bills
Spanish mon build de house
Chiney mon cook de food
Black mon lay de pipe

The Upside and the Downside

2007-12-19T19:09:00.000-06:00

Haad reeeyn aaaaall deeeey
Free baythe
Free ayer cundishun

My new Columbia rainjacket from Angler's Abroad (near the split) got its first real workout today on a quick trip to San Pedro. I'm happy to report that it passed with no drip or rips. No more wearing hefty bags on the water taxi.

Several flights leaving Belize for Huston were cancelled today and postponed until tomorrow stranding more than 300 people in Belize City. Too bad they weren't stranded somewhere nice. The outlook for tomorrow is the same, with weather clearing by Friday. I have to admit, it was dicey on the boat today. A bit like Disneyland without hand rails.

Contentment Cards

2007-12-17T10:22:00.000-06:00

Mrs. Drama Queen was in the police station yesterday causing a ruckus. There are certain people that when I see them heading for the station, I don’t even wonder what’s going on. Their life is a constant drama of he did this and she said that. I sigh and shrug and close the kitchen window while I’m mixing up the batter that’s soon to become banana cake. I really don’t want to know. Really. And please don’t come over and tell me what you think I might have missed during the very loud interviewing process.

Living next to the police station on a tiny latino island in the middle of nowhere, has its plusses and its minuses. The plus is that we feel relatively safe, and if there is an incident, the police are quick to respond. The minus is that Bigness and I are unwilling observers of life’s worst events. Or at least the 8th grader’s version of it. We have become the crisis counseling center for every white girl who ever loved a rasta man. I think I’m going to print up my pamphlets for “Lee’s Guide To Dating on Caye Caulker” I could be like the Jehovah’s wickedness and go door to door preaching the word.

I remember one night a drunken girl went to the police station to complain that her lover wouldn’t leave his wife as he promised.

I went to bed and turned the TV up.

The other day I had quite the surprise while walking down the steps to the beach. I should know by now to just put on my blinders, and never look to the right when midstairs. A man was showering himself in the faucet under the stairs, his complete self, soaping up, while a prisoner, some unlucky drunk was sitting in the window of the cell with his legs stuck through the bars outside. All I could see were these two brown skinny legs. They were having quite the conversation. They laughed and laughed, looking only straight ahead unaware of someone to the left. I hurried and finished my descent, I didn't want to be foreced to hail the bathing man, or be labeled stuck up. If they asked my advice it would be that to improve your life you shouldn’t hang out with crackheads and whores.

The island is perking up a little, it’s the week before Christmas, the tourists aren’t pouring in like they have in years past, but its definitely getting busier. I made two banana cakes today. The warmth from the oven welcome in the kitchen. It got down into the 60s last night and only in the 70s today and the breeze is cold. The tourists are asking me if its always like this. I pretend to remember and say, Nooooo, its never this cold at Christmas. I have a bad memory. Every year I say, it was never this cold, this hot, this slow, this busy.

With the U.S. economy in a tailspin, our high season, which is usually bolstered by Americans between the months of December and April, will be slower for business this year. Hotel reservations island-wide are low. Last year at this time we were booked until Easter. This year, our bookings end after the New Year. We don’t take it personally though, everyone is complaining. We are all looking around at each other wondering what happened? Last year Caye Caulker had more marketing as a destination than ever, it should have lead to a booming high season.

The trickledown effect is that restaurants, bars, tour companies and gift shops will be slow for business. There is no accounting for foreign economies or world events.

Belize and Caye Caulker has slowly been chipping away at its bread and butter tourism which is the backpacker crowd. Slowly prices and taxes have been rising to the point where we are not really considered a cheap tropical destination anymore. The cost of gasoline is over $5 U.S. a gallon, yet the minimum wage is around $1.75 U.S. an hour. In the old days, even if a backpacker didn’t spend much money daily, they would stay a length of time so the inexpensive accommodations and local stores prospered.

Caye Caulker is on the cusp. We do not have the numbers of backpackers coming in as in years past, and do not have the numbers of mid-to-high-level tourists wanting nice more expensive digs. Right now hotels are standing empty. The small pie is chopped into smaller pieces. More places opening daily, everyone fighting over the same few tourists.

Bigness says I worry too much. There is a fine line between “worrying” and “planning”. Just like there is a fine line between “information” and “gossip”.
- The pendulum swings up and the pendulum swings down.
- Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
- If we are crying then someone out there must be starving.

A few months ago I designed these card and started producing them in my spare time. They have become a big seller in the store. Mostr people don't buy just one int he set, they buy 3 or 4. Its a reminder of where we should be, its a reminder to me of what I should be doing. The images are photos I've taken around the island that have meaning to me. They are hand made using real banana leaf paper as the background with photo mounted on top. They come in a set of 12 different photos and quotes. The cost is $45 plus shipping. In the store I sell them individually for $4 each.

Photo Friday - December 15 - Sunrise

2007-12-15T21:48:00.001-06:00

I shot this photo standing on the verandah that then became my office and now is a posh spare bedroom. I shot this before the Fisheries Department built their office dead smack next to the fence, in the police yard, blocking my view to the main water taxi bridge. To see the boats come and go from the main bridge, I now have to stand at the kitchen window on my tiptoes. The building of the Fisheries office didn't affect the rest of the house, just the view from our side.

Even on Caye Caulker, the view changes from time to time.

I like this photo because it has a natural lens flare. A for real lens flare, not something manufactured in photoshop.
In photos where there is an absence of color, for example, in this silouette shot into the sun, I convert them to black and white because it makes the photo more contrasty.
Contrasty is a very official technical term, in case you didn't know. Its listed in the dictionary right next to the whoseywhatsit and the thingamajiggy.

Check out more Photo Friday submissions.

Everyone Loves a Parade

2007-12-08T08:27:00.000-06:00

For child awareness week the Caye Caulker primary school organized a parade. Dressed in the national colors of red and blue, and carrying the Belizean flag, a group of older ones led the parade. It stretched on for BLOCKS. And a well organized event it was. Where did all these kids come from is my big question? During the day they are hidden away at school and in the evenings they are dispursed throughout the island. I never guessed there were so many, until I saw the parade. Some of the children I recognized because they were friends and playmates of UNBaby and her crazy cast of characters. More than half of the children were strangers to me. I had no idea.

"Whey Alima deh? Whey she de do?" They shout to me. (Where is UNBaby- what is she doing?)

"She inna de Steeyts, wit she ma" I answer back.

UNBaby will come back a celebrity when she visits from aMerica. Its a small place.

What struck me was the amount of costumes. I could imagine the local seamstresses were busy in the weeks prior sewing skirts and tops. This was a lot of work!

Here we are on a tiny island 20 miles out to sea and we have cheerleaders, baton twirlers, majorettes, and drummers.

I photographed this from our new street side verandah that Bigness built while I was away in the U.S. in September and October.
I felt nostalgic, remembering when this one was born, when that one was bathing in a tub on her mom's verandah, when another was learning to talk and would speak Spanish to his mom and English to me. Bright shiny faces, sweet smiles, eyes alert, bursting with energy. A few bursting with naughtyness, a sign of high intelligence. School teacher is one profession that I could never do.

Mom's and Grandmoms marching right along with their kids in jeans pants and special T-Shirts made for the occasion.

A model of the school rides down the street pulled by a scooter. A model of the new Atlantic Bank rests on the back of a golf cart. I like the two GI Joes complete with weapons that symbolize the bank guards.

Manuelito, my grand-nephew (doesn't that make me sound old?) dresses up as a mestizo fisherman.

Around the island they go, down Front Street which is now named Avenida Hicaco, and up Middle Street. The parade came and went before the rain. No one likes it to rain on their parade. I shouldn't overstate the obvious.

Today I smell white ginger flowers that Miss Barbara brought in from her garden scenting up the gallery. The sun is shining, we've had a couple days of sun after many rainy days. The wood on the house is drying again. The American tourists have left, its mostly European couples here strolling, skipping, wandering down the sand street in front of the shop. I have no big schedule or agenda. I work a partial day today and then have the rest of the day for production. I'm restocking the other stores in Belize that carry my work, before Christmas. Its a little boring right now, not too many tourists, but in about 10 days we'll be crying that we're too busy.

Photo Friday - Primitive - December 7

2007-12-07T16:56:00.000-06:00

This carved palm stump sits next to the pool entrance at The Inn at Robert's Grove in Placencia. Check out more Photo Friday submissions.